Lets let friday get us pregnant and have a baby that lasts the whole weekend

first rule of parasite infection is to have fun and be yourself

second rule is to start being something else

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

Not to indulge in childish fantasies but what if every time I checked the news it wasn’t worse?

I know we joke and all but i think my mind is destroyed for real

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

one person's "ugghh this trope is so overdone" is another person's "oooooohohohohohohohoho"

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by

I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch