dude von dudenstein

my most boomer ass take is that i hate when i unmute a video of a cat and its just the most obnoxiously loud pop music playing over it. bro put that shit away i'm here to listen to your cat. i wanna hear what he has to say.

THE ROTHCAKE.....

I believe in the separation of church (fandom) and state (media creators)

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard

really hilarious and unsexy when hetero romantasy authors refer to love interests as males and females. you sound like david attenborough narrating a special documentary on two turtles humping in the mud

i don't care if he's the king of the fae. if that man called me a desirable female i'd have him gelded

treating "historians" not only as this unified group but also as a coherent socio-political entity w unified ideas, ideals, goals and methods is actually the reddest possible flag. thats a tell-tale sign that this person doesnt know what the fuck theyre talking about. capital h Historians arent lying to u. capital h Historians arent hiding stuff from u, they dont want u to believe anything, bc Historians isnt an organization or a political affiliation. u know the old saying, 2 jews, 3 opinions? historians r like that too

"Historians dont want u to know *historical figure* was gay!1!!" n its in the 'personal life' section of said figure's wikipedia page

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

sad reality of the fanfic-to-published work economy is that the weirdest people are willing to do it. that's why there's now hundreds of shitty no plot cishet hate-to-love enemies-to-lovers books that are ex reylo fanfic. and it's not even good. that's because the people who wrote book-quality steve/bucky and kirk/spock fic are too normal to think to themselves "i should get this porn published". they're too busy working in local government offices

everyone I am happy to announce that the stevebucky fanfic author I had in mind while writing this post has officially reblogged it.