Forgotten Typo

whoever's idea it was to have womens t-shirts have those tiny sleeves that go way up into the armpits must have done that maliciously

greeting the mutuals

rage bait idea: like your own texts during an argument

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

reblog if you’re asexual, support asexual people or really really want a crossbow for literally no reason.

my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits

vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.

vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone

Saw a tweet about mamdani solving the astrophage crisis and now im just imagining them sending mamdani to space

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

Do you wanna play mermaids? Yay. Okay so my tail is light blue and I have ice powers. And I live in the Arctic sea and watch British sailors die horrible deaths while trying to find the Northwest Passage.

you could spell it like horce

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

Sorry it’s what to elves

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

Sorry it’s what to elves

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.