Kill 'em with kindness

Every day, I wake up and there isn’t a moving castle roaming the nearby hills.

oh my GOD i hope no one realizes i have multiple facets

You crush Miette like the grape?

brick up mother in basement for ONE THOUSAND YEARS

The Cask of Miettellado

Y'all are just absolutely committed to creating humor I cannot explain to my spouse, aren't you?

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

folks you’re never gonna believe what i did today

The point of anti-acne products isn't because of beauty standards, its because acne hurts like hell and can get infected

It's like when people call sunscreen or deodorant beauty products. Like maybe in some cases but most people don't want to smell bad or have skin cancer

i hate the part of depression that’s like all the things that bring me joy are empty and i can’t do anything. like come on bitch i know you love book can you just be happy about book :/

in the age of repression and purity culture, getting more perverted is the only morally correct course of action

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from