Classical Heavy Metal

when charles schulz said "all you need is love. but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt" and anthony bourdain said "your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. enjoy the ride" and mark twain said "part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like." when erma bombeck said "i am not a glutton- i'm an explorer of food," voltaire said "ice-cream is exquisite. what a pity it isn't illegal" and when kurt vonnegut said "you can't just eat good food. you've got to talk about it too. and you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food."

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

i WILL be nuzzling my face into you like a cat and really there’s nothing you can do about it

OH NO HE CRASHED HIS BIKE

The tldr; version - guy makes a parody page for the police account. Police are furious, arrest him and try prosecute him (he was found not guilty). He filed a suit alleging they violated his first amendment rights. A circuit court sided with the police, so the Onion filed the Supreme Court brief asking them to take on the case - as they do have the writers and lawyers to craft that really great brief. Because the ruling of the circuit court could adversely affect all humor/parody/satire sites on the internet.