footsocks

an alternate ending for the Over the Garden Wall role swap au (under the cut because it's almost 2k words XP)

Hi, I'm Pal and I eat the paper on straws.

@i-eat-rusty-nails @alocalpizzadruid @punkeropercyjackson @f3lixthecatboy @stup1d-k1llj0y @bunny-and-the-ink-machine @averydeadshootingstar @meicherienewsies @yourl0calqueer @demigod-jack-hearth

Tags!!!

Hi I'm Nes and I have a baking business!

hi im lilly and i took two years of (i think) mandarin lessons (it might've also been cantonese, my teacher never told me and when i signed up it only said chinese)

hii, I'm Lou and I have more instruments than furniture in my flat

Hey I’m Hans and I can make my nose move without moving a muscle but not my ears

Hay I’m Maya and my knees and hips crack anytime I move and it’s loud

hiii, I’m Ascher, and my fingers are all double-jointed :>

im coffee and i have a kandi business with one of my best friends ^^

im lucky and i play three instruments and im going to start learning a fourth

I'm zaiya/alex and I like to play the guitar

Hi I’m Rift and I have an unholy amount of string

@gingers-emotes @calciumhasarrived

Happy(ish) Headcanons because omygosh all this sadness is not good for my health! 

Note - These only really make sense under the interpretation that, rather than a dream, the Unknown is another reality. Think Narnia and its ability to be accessed via pools, paintings and wardrobes. I think the Unknown is accessed via these gateways and amplified by imminent danger.

~*(SPOILER WARNING)*~

Here, the bizarre headcanons in my mind! 

Wirt and Greg were the first people in centuries to actually make it out of the Unknown. Because of this, the barriers between the worlds begin to blend. The townspeople are confused at the sudden appearance of black turtles in their ponds and rivers. Pets keep stopping outside schools and clothing stores with wistful looks in their eyes. The brothers take it upon themselves to guide the turtles back over the wall (“Be free!” “Gently Greg! Do not throw the turtles!”) and much to Wirts mortification, liberating some pets so they can make their way to Miss Langtree's school. The lack of Bluebirds was both worrying and reassuring; If they weren’t there, Beatrice must still be at home. 

After seeing Wirt and Gregs relationship, Beatrice decides to get more involved in the lives of her many younger siblings (Even if they can be really annoying and keep digging up worms in the garden) 

Wirt is the first to start thinking of returning over the garden wall. Greg is the first to suggest it.

When Wirt receives his acceptance letter to College, he spends a good two weeks waiting to tell Greg. He even considers not attending at all and just getting a job in their town. When Jason Funderburker (the frog) finds the letter, Greg (Now in High school himself) insists that Wirt goes; after all, a Pilgrim needs to travel to find new stories. Greg would end up spending pretty much every weekend and break staying with Wirt, who spent his college years studying Classic Literature and writing poetry. 

Wirt and Sara did date for two years, but mutually broke up. ((AN: I do like Sara, I just didn’t get much from her - Also relationships that start when you’re 15/16 rarely last long…I also ship Infinite Eyerolls…so yeah)) 

Their mom and Greg’s dad both think the brothers (Now 16 and 23) have moved to Europe, with Wirt acting as Greg’s legal guardian. The boys learned how to successfully send letters home and reassure them they are happy and (surprisingly) safe. Wirt stopped sending letters to his father after he remarried without telling him, leaving his mother to break the news.

Wirt did try to get his poetry published  in the “real” world, but was turned away because his style was considered too old fashioned and bizarre. When he returned to the Unknown and visited the Inn they asked if he was still the Pilgrim.  “Uh, no…I’m a poet. But not a very good one apparently” But they insist on hearing him recite and they Love. It. The whole Inn re-christen him ‘The Poet’ or 'The Bard’; His new found popularity actually helps Wirt get an income, as the Inn Keeper and many others in the Unknown would pay to have him recite poetry and play clarinet for them. His best customer, however, is Quincy Endicott, who commissions him to write poetry for his wife every week.

At first Beatrice’s father and brothers have a hard time getting along with Wirt (especially since he spends so much time with one of their girls) To make things harder on him they have him do manual labor while they all work in the mill. They quickly realise that this sort of work doesn’t actually bother him (We all know from Pottsfield that he doesn’t shy away from physical labor, even if he isn’t particularly strong)  After this he is eagerly befriended by the men of the family

While Wirt is reluctant to spend too much time traveling the woods, Greg spends most of his time on the move. With Jason the frog at his side, he often spends time either living with Quincy Endicott (still convinced he is his nephew), celebrating the harvest in Pottsfield, teaching the younger children at Mrs Brown’s (nee Langtree) school, traveling on the ferry with the Frog Band or at home with Wirt. Thanks to Greg's travels they discover many more towns, villages and even one city (it ended up being inhabited by bears).

Greg, Wirt and Beatrice once stumbled upon a community of small gnomes, who upon seeing Wirt wanted to make him their King Gnome, much to Wirts humiliation. Beatrice and Greg still call him Your Highness when he’s being annoying.

Even years after they left, Beatrice never lost the feeling that Wirt and Greg weren’t really gone - Thus she spent a lot of time taking long walks with her dog or waiting by the window, just in case they came back. 

Wirt has tried to teach every single one of Beatrice’s siblings how to play the clarinet. No one managed, but Beatrice was quite obviously the worst. 

Beatrice can, however, sing and play piano superbly  

Beatrice’s mother is incredibly protective of Wirt and Greg. She treats them both like her own children and is very supportive when Wirt confides in her that he may -or may not have feelings for Beatrice.

While the boys were gone, Beatrice tried to write a poem about how much she missed them (and her confusing feelings about Wirt and his crush on Sara). She read it once and quickly threw it away. When Beatrice and Wirt announce they’re courting (“Dating. Where we’re from its called dating”) Her mother reveals that she found the poem in the trash and gives it to Wirt. The poem is terrible but Wirt loves it, keeping it in his cape pocket wherever he goes. Beatrice is still not over the mortification.

One day Wirt would go to the Inn and when they all called him “Pilgrim”/“Bard/"Poet” he would nervously correct them “Actually…I'm the Young Lover. I need your help”

“The Tome of the Unknown - A Collection of Poems by Wirt The Pilgrim. Dedicated to my brother Greg, who encourages me to be the best person I can be. To my fiancee Beatrice, who let me clip her wings and keeps me grounded. And finally I dedicate this book to the extraordinary people of the Unknown…You’re all a bit weird but that’s fine”

For further Birb-shipping pleasure, please picture -

  Beatrice and Wirt planning a small, family only wedding; only to have hundreds of people turn up “How do we know all these people?!” They had to get married outside to make sure everyone could attend.

Worry Wart!Wirt who is simultaneously the best and the most nervous dad ever. This all next to Beatrice who can be simultaneously the chillest and strictest mother, depending on what the kids have done.

Wirt worrying constantly through her pregnancies, afraid the past will somehow repeat itself and his actions will hurt those he loves . 

Wirt and Beatrice regularly bickering like children but being a terrifying united force. Worse still is when the other is mocked by a stranger, because they’re mushy dweebs who are super proud of each other and will fight you to prove they’re right (well…Beatrice will fight you. You’d have to have said something pretty terrible to make Wirt resort to violence)

Margueritte and Quincy Endicotte utterly spoiling the children, bombarding them with gifts and sweets. Margueritte insists on tutoring the girls so they can be proper ladies. Wirt finds this a little odd since she isn’t a teacher, but Beatrice (having been raised in a relatively wealthy family) pushes the girls to go multiple times a week, insisting that it’s a great opportunity. When their brothers get jealous, Margueritte starts inviting them to lessons too. Thanks to her they are all multi-lingual, proficient in many instruments and knowledgeable in history, literature, art and finance (a woman who owns a tea company must have some financial sense). This does not stop them playing with frogs and jumping in the mud when they get home.

Wirt and Beatrice taking the kids over the wall to see their grandparents, who adore her and the children, even if they’re a bit odd (“It must be what children are like in Europe?”)