the keys to my house lost me

Coleoptera. Sketches of British insects. 1877.

Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.

Girl 1: can it die?

No actually I’m gonna start

If police HAVE to arrest the “primary aggressor” in domestic violence situations, the following trends take place:

Police arrest the person with the less visible injuries. Given the prevalence of strangulation in intimate partner violence, especially heterosexual, and the fact that ~80% of strangulations leave no marks, while defensively clawing at your attacker does…

^ Incidentally, if you do have a fight between family or household members that’s not abuse (it does happen!) this tends to punish the winner

Police arrest the more annoying person. The “hysterical” person and yes I’ve seen that word used in police reports. The thing is: after being violently attacked victims generally can’t calmly interact with the police. The perpetrator sometimes can.

Victims who are not ready to leave for WHATEVER REASON, and I will never judge what that reason is, will get frantic because one of the main income contributors is in jail and he’s gonna blame THEM for it when he gets out unless they do all they can to help. Sometimes even if they do all they can.

The perpetrator won’t be in jail forever and may not even be in jail longer than a couple days, so even in scenarios where this would benefit someone, the benefits are under a ticking clock. That’s not enough time to do anything to make themselves safe, because —

Arresting the “primary aggressor” is now the end of the case and of police involvement and no further assistance is offered (in many many places).

Putting the abuser through the court system causes serious financial and emotional stress,

That they take out on their victim.