Just Peachy

.·°·.·°·.·°·.

Light surrounded Villain. The ambient noise of the city was replaced by a low, droning hum. Any sense of direction was lost as gravity no longer affected them. They were weightless, and, even in this world of superpowers, nothing made sense. Where did the city go? Why couldn’t they move? How were they floating? The light was all-consuming, and Villain would have thought themself lost in it if not for the deathgrip Hero still had around their collar. 

Slowly, the light faded, and Villain felt their own weight return to them. Their legs wobbled, and in an instant, whatever force that held them in place disappeared. They would have fallen if not for Hero, who still held them in their grasp.

“What just happened?” Villain said, though not really expecting an explanation.

Looking around, they could see they were now in a circular, silver chamber. Dials and switches and lights and symbols dotted the walls, communicating something or other, and the floor was, what was that, carpet? Villain shuddered. Honestly, it looked a lot like a cheap sci-fi set for a tv show that should have been cancelled three seasons ago than a futuristic aircraft capable of teleporting human beings.

“Oh, no, no, no.” Villain jumped at Hero’s voice, and stumbled as their anchor let them go to run over to a wall.

Not a wall. A window.

Villain blinked.

A window that showed… Earth? No, that couldn’t be right. If they were looking at the earth, that could only mean...

“Shit, we’re already in orbit.” Hero said.

Villain blinked.

They were in space. Space. That was impossible, right? They couldn’t actually be in space. But here they were, staring at the little blue marble with their very own eyes. Was the room spinning? Or was it the spaceship?

Villain ran their hands through their hair.

They were in a spaceship. A spaceship. That was impossible, right? They couldn’t actually be in a spaceship. But here they were, having been abducted by the UFO just seconds ago. By what? Aliens?

Aliens.

Villain forced their gaze away to keep themself from spiraling, instead focusing on Hero, who has since moved on from the window to the numerous switches and lights, tapping the wall and looking at the symbols that popped up. Villain didn’t understand what Hero was trying to do, it wasn’t like they could understand what any of it meant.

Three deep breaths, and Villain made the best plan ever made in 24 seconds. They stepped up next to their nemesis.

“Hero?”

Hero’s hand was covering their mouth, muttering something to themself, and clearly not paying attention. Nevertheless, Villain continued, “Now, as much as I hate to say it, I think we may have to work together to get back on Earth.” Truth be told, in any other circumstance, Villain would have been ecstatic to work with their nemesis. Whether to defeat a worse villain or take down some other hero that had become corrupt, they would have welcomed the opportunity wholeheartedly. 

Why? Well, Villain would argue that it was more interesting, that their relationship, and subsequent fights, would have more dramatic tension. Definitely not because of any other tension that may arise from spending time together.

Villain puffed out their chest, “Lucky for you, I have decided to put aside our differences, and your lack of charisma, to take the initiative and save us both from peril. Yes, this does go against my better judgement, and yes, it may possibly be my most difficult role to date, but if it means I get to go back home in time to watch my soaps, then it’ll be worth it.”

Hero finally turned towards them, “Do you ever shut up?”

“Only for dramatic effect.” Villain said with an award-winning smile, earning an eye roll and a huff of annoyance. “So… what do you think we should do?”

“I thought you said you’d take the initiative?”

“Yes, the initiative in proposing we work together.”

“...”

Villain held up their hands, “Hey, hey, before you go punching willy nilly, why don’t you tell me what you were doing over here? Get anything useful from the flashing green triangle you were poking at?” They would have teased more, but Hero’s lack of response made them move on. “What are you thinking?”

Hero’s eyes flickered to the wall and back to Villain. “You need to leave.”

Villain blinked.

“Well, obviously we need to escape. We were abducted!”

Hero shook their head, “No, you need to leave. I’ll stay, and deal with-”

“What? And how are you going to figure out how anything works, huh? Even if you do, why wouldn’t you just come back with me?”

“It’s not that simple, I can’t re-”

A low, loud beep interrupted the enemies, and Villain turned their head in time for a wall opposite the window to open up and let someone through. Someone distinctly… humanlike. 

The person, an older woman by the looks of it, smiled brightly and opened their arms. “ .·°¯°·.·° .·°° ?”

That was distinctly not humanlike. It was like hearing someone speak through water, and an undercurrent of static scratched the inside of Villain’s ears. 

The woman—were they even a person?—walked closer, and Hero quickly stepped in front of Villain, shielding them.

She paid no mind, however, and spoke again, “ .·°¯°·.·° .·°° ,” looking expectantly at Hero, who, after a moment of hesitation, stepped forward. Her smile widened, and Villain was hit with a sense of deja vu. She pulled Hero close, and, were they hugging? Why was Hero letting her? What was happening? 

The woman whispered something to Hero, but it wasn’t like Villain could understand even if they tried. Hero turned back to Villain, giving them an apologetic smile before, “ ° .·°° ° .¯ .”

Villain’s jaw dropped.

Hero was replying to the woman. Which meant they understood her. Which meant they knew whatever language was being spoken. Which meant… which meant… Why were they abducted in the first place?

The danger presented itself fully to Villain.

They had been taken off the face of the earth by their mortal enemy, or someone who was well acquainted with them, at the very least, and had no possibility of escape. Villain considered themself clever, but trying to figure out how alien—alien!—technology worked was beyond them. They had to rely wholly on Hero, who, although Villain was loath to admit it, hated their guts. Hero could be plotting in front of Villain right now and they would be none the wiser.

Hero wouldn’t do that. Villain tried to reassure themself, because Hero wouldn’t send them off with some unknown alien being. They’d want to arrest Villain proper, right? Arrest and put them in some high security cell they’d break out of a month later. It was their thing. Villain didn’t want their thing to end.

Huh.

Villain shook their head, they’d have to examine and repress that particular line of thought later, because the woman was suddenly standing in front of them, startling Villain out of their thoughts. She reached out, clutching Villain's jaw with cold fingers, turning them this way and that. As if they were being studied. Was Villain wrong? Was Hero really getting rid of them?

“ ¯ .·°°·°¯ .” She said. Villain’s ears itched worse now that the woman was closer.

Maybe Hero thought they were doing Villain a favour, sending them off on an adventure, letting them create their own melodramatic space opera. Or maybe this was punishment for all the dated Space Trek references. Both were a possibility.

Familiar hands pulled Villain away from the woman and into Hero’s chest. They were not blushing.

“ .·° .¯°·°° !” Hero’s voice was raised, clearly upset at whatever the woman had said.

She, however, was unaffected by Hero’s outburst, gesturing between the two enemies with raised eyebrows, “ °·.°·.°¯°·. .” 

Hero shook their head, and Villain felt Hero’s grip tighten ever so slightly, “ °·.°¯ .·°°·.°°¯ .”

A strange noise came from the woman, sounding almost like… bubbles? It was clearer than the other times she spoke, and it was the way she moved that made Villain realize it was a laugh. She was laughing at Villain. Or Hero. Both?

Hero’s hands were shaking, and Villain couldn’t tell if it was with anger or fear. 

“ ·° .·° .” Hero was curt with her, and Villain recognized the tone from when they threatened to blow up City Hall. The tone that preceded their fights.

The woman seemed to recognize the tone as well, as she backed off a little, holding her hands up in a placating way. She gave Villain a small wave before nodding at Hero, “ ·.°.°¯°°¯° .· .·° .” and left, the wall closing up behind her.

The pair stood in silence.

Hero let go of Villain, letting them step away. Except, they didn’t. In fact, they did nothing of the sort. Villain spun on their heels and stepped forward, “What on ear–ugh, what just happened?”

“There, um, might be a slight problem.”

“Slight problem? You call this”—Villain gestured wildly around them, narrowly avoiding hitting Hero in the face—”a slight problem?”

Hero leaned away from Villain, avoiding their eyes.

“Care to explain? Anything? At all?”

“Where do I start?”

Villain’s theatrics, for once, wasn’t uncalled for. “Oh, I don’t know, how about the fact that we were abducted? That we are in space? Or, or!” Villain backed off, giving themself room to pace around the circular room and project their panic to an audience of one, “That there is an alien speaking to you, Hero, in an alien language, because no human could actually sound like that, acting like she knows you, and you, you reply to her? As if you know her too?”

“Yeah, that would be my… mother.”

“Your mother.”

Hero nodded.

“Your mother who lives in a spaceship. Who speaks an alien language.”

“Who is an alien.”

“Who is an alien.” It took a good second for the words to sink in. “Your mother is an alien?! Like, an alien from an alien planet?”

Hero nodded again.

Villain felt their brain short-circuit. “Does that mean…”

“That I’m an alien from an alien planet? Yes.”

Villain felt lightheaded. This was okay. This was manageable. This world-shattering, insane truth of the universe was perfectly manageable, and they were not going to spiral, not for one second. Deep breaths. One… two… three… Villain stopped pacing, facing Hero with the calmest expression the latter had ever seen on the former. “Okay, so now that you’ve had your nice little family reunion, we can go back, right?”

Hero’s face was a cross between a smile and a wince.

Villain’s expression twitched, but held firm, “And why not?”

“Well, my mother-”

“The alien.”

Hero tried not to get annoyed, but damn, did Villain make it hard. “Yes, my mother the alien. She, erm,” They groaned, covering their face with their hands, “She may have made a fundamental mistake about the nature of our relationship.”

“And what mistake would that be?” Villain grit their teeth.

“She may, perhaps, think that, we’re… dating.”

“Louder, Hero. Speak so everyone in the audience can hear you.”

“She thinks we’re dating!”

Villain blinked, completing the rule of thirds and simultaneously breaking their composure. So much for not spiraling. “Dating?” Their voice squeaked.

“Dating,” Hero nodded, “And-”

“There’s more?!” Villain turned away, back to pacing and practically pulling their hair out from the absurdity.

“And, the reason we can’t leave yet is because she invited us to dinner.”

Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no no no.

“What’s wrong? I thought you loved drama.” Hero said, failing to lighten the mood. “Aren’t family confrontations and misunderstandings the bread and butter of soap operas?”

“My love of drama left me when we left the atmosphere.” Villain glared at Hero with enough ferocity to start a fire.

Villain walked up to the walls, flicking the switches and turning the dials, to see if, miraculously, they could make the ship go back to the city. The lights blinked mockingly in response.

“Uh, Villain?”

“There doesn’t happen to be an escape pod on this ship, does there?”

“Unfortunately not.”

“We’re really going to have to do this, aren’t we?” Villain said, turning to face their nemesis.

“Unfortunately yes.”

Two enemies, both flushed head to toe from frustration and embarrassment, locked eyes.

And Villain, lover of monologues and soliloquies, came up with the most profound, most thought-provoking line they could think of.

“We’re so fucked.”

Hero shot up, startled out of their grief, and hastily rubbed away their tears.

“W-who’s there?”

They searched the damp walls and cracked pavement of the alley, illuminated only by the yellow street lamps, for the owner of the voice.

But no one was there.

Did they imagine it?

A cold laugh bounced off the walls.

Hero spun, fists raised. Eyes darting around, they found a figure hidden in the alley’s deep shadows. 

“I see you. Come out!” Hero thought they saw a glint of red. A trick of the light, surely.

The figure didn’t move.

There was only one reason why someone would stick around a corpse without calling for help.

“Did you do this? Did you kill Sidekick?” Hero said, unable to hide the tremble in their voice.

The figure finally spoke. “Afraid not, Hero. The one responsible would be your darling Villain.”

Hero narrowed their eyes. Villain was a lot of things, but murderer wasn’t one of them. It was one of the few reasons why Hero let Sidekick patrol alone; Villain’s territory was safer than most crime-riddled areas. Supposed to be.

They shook their head, “You’re wrong, Villain would never kill Sidekick.”

“Not intentionally, no.” The figure moved, still lingering in the shadows, and Hero could see that the figure was incredibly tall. As if they could reach out and grab Hero from where they stood. “But when one's nemesis has the strength to lift cars, it's easy to forget that not everyone can handle the same amount of power. With how often you two fight, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened sooner.”

The hairs on Hero’s neck stood on end. This person, whoever they were, was making it up. They had to be. “You’re lying. I don’t know why, but you are. Why else would you wait around a-a…” Hero spared a glance at Sidekick. “Why else would you stay here?”

“To find you.”

Hero stepped back, heart pounding. Their instincts told them to run, to get as far away as fast as possible. But running meant leaving Sidekick, and Hero wouldn’t forgive themself if they did. Couldn’t.

The figure didn’t elaborate. Gesturing to Sidekick, instead. “Do you think any run-of-the-mill villain could inflict wounds like that?”

If the figure wanted to kill them, they would have done it while Hero’s back was to them. They took a deep breath, and knelt back down to Sidekick, still facing the figure, just in case. Hero turned their gaze down, eyeing the mess of cuts and bruises that was Sidekick’s torso. Analyzing their injuries for evidence, until...

Hero grit their teeth.

They’d recognize those stupid miniscule marks anywhere. After all, their own body was covered in them. Little scars that came from a direct hit of Villain’s power.

Mock sympathy dripped from the figure’s voice like oil slick. “And when your dear old Villain realized what they’d done, they ran.”

“T-they wouldn’t.”

“Why not? They’re a villain. Not taking responsibility is in their nature.”

They didn’t argue.

“Do you think Villain would tell you the truth? If you confronted them?” Hero could hear the smile in the figure's voice. “No, knowing them, they’d do everything in their power to convince you otherwise. That those unmistakable marks were from someone else. That they were being set up. 

“And, when they finally realize it’s hopeless, they’d beg you for forgiveness. Maybe even offering to turn themself in. All because they couldn’t bear to lose you, their darling nemesis who makes them feel whole. They have such a big soft spot for you, it’s sickening.”

Hero certainly felt sick. Their tears returned, blurring the world around them. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I think we can help each other.”

“I don’t want revenge.” Hero said, though there was no conviction in their words.

“No, but I can bring Sidekick back.”

Hero’s head snapped up, ready to tell them off, when the figure walked out of the darkness.

Street lamps illuminated something that could only be described as otherworldly. Wisps of smoke trailed behind them like coattails. Piercing eyes that burned like fire. They were a walking shadow, consuming any light that got too close.

Hero froze. “You're not, you can’t, t-this isn’t real.”

The figure, creature, stalked closer, until they were looming over Hero. They could now see just how tall they truly were. Like someone grabbed their head and feet and pulled and pulled. Stretched too thin and too tall and too close. Hero fought the urge to flee.

They reached down and grabbed Hero's jaw with their massive hands, forcing Hero to their feet. “I'm as real as your friend’s corpse on the ground.” Flecks of ash flew around them, the smell of smoke filled the air.

“What are you?”

They sighed. “Demon has such nasty connotations. But, I suppose that would be the closest definition you humans understand.”

Hero winced as an ember landed on their skin. 

“No matter, I have something to offer, and you have something I desire.” Hero felt the demon’s nails dig into their cheeks as they were forced to their tiptoes. “What do you say, Hero? Care to make a deal?”

They stared into the demon’s eyes, seeing visions of hellfire. Whispers of agony in their ear. Brimstone choking their lungs. Pain and suffering swallowing them whole.

Hero pulled away, falling to their knees and gasping for air. Clutching the ground in an effort to anchor themself to reality.

“I’m not selling my soul to a demon.” Hero said.

The demon bent down, and Hero flinched, expecting to be forced to look in their eyes again.

“Not even to save your precious Sidekick?”

Hero shook their head, guilt gnawing at their insides.

The demon hummed. “And here I thought you cared for them.”

“I do care! It’s just, I just,” Hero looked at the body, then to the demon. “I don’t want to, to…”

“Go to hell?” They offered.

Hero nodded.

They were a coward. A real hero would sacrifice themself in a heartbeat, but Hero couldn’t even consider it for a second. They weren’t there to protect Sidekick, and now they were letting an opportunity to save them slip away.

But what they saw in the demon’s eyes…

Hero shuddered.

It scared them more than any villain ever did.

If they sold their soul, Hero knew their pain would be the fuel to light the flames.

Coward.

“You're in luck, Hero. For it's not your soul I desire.”

Hero’s brows knit together. They looked up hesitantly, avoiding the demon’s eyes. “Then… what do you desire?”

The smoke parted in an approximation of a smile. “A body.”

“A body?”

They nodded. “It takes a lot of energy to maintain a corporeal form on earth. Possessing a body would lessen that burden greatly.”

“W-why?”

They shrugged. “A demon needs to eat.”

This was a chance of a lifetime. Saving Sidekick without being condemned to eternal damnation. What a deal!

Letting a demon possess their body, though. Hero didn’t know what that entailed. Would it hurt? Could they be killed while the demon was possessing them? If the demon killed someone, by making deals or otherwise, would it be their fault?

As if reading their mind—maybe they can—the demon spoke. “You wont notice a thing; It will be as if you’re in a deep sleep. My visits won’t take long either, so there will still be time for you to play hero. I’ll even make sure not to mess with your civilian life. Aren’t I considerate?”

“And my hero life?”

The demon huffed, blowing smoke into Hero’s face. “I won't ruin your reputation, but I can’t guarantee people won't see me. Oh! Maybe I should get my own costume, wouldn’t that be fun?”

Hero didn’t respond.

“Unless you’d prefer me to use your civilian identity?”

“No! I-I mean, please. Please use this identity. Or make another one. Please.” Hero cringed at their pleading, but the demon seemed satisfied.

“So it's settled.” Sparks flew from the demon as they clapped their hands together, causing Hero to jump. “I give Sidekick a second chance at life, and you give me your body to possess whenever I desire, withstanding I give you time to live your silly little human life, unaffected.”

Hero looked at Sidekick. Their face tinged grey, resembling wax more than skin. If they didn’t do this… did they really deserve to be called a hero?

They swallowed.

No. They were doing this. No turning back.

Hero looked up, staring directly into the flames. “Deal.”

The demon smiled, and took Hero’s face into their terrifying hands. “Pleasure doing business.” They leaned in, and, for a moment, Hero expected a kiss.

Instead, the shadow that made up the demon dissipated, rushing into their nose and mouth, replacing the air in their lungs. Hero choked as the smoke invaded their body, spots dotting their vision. They reached out, trying to hold onto something, anything, but only found air. The essence of the demon flowed through them, filling up their entire being. They couldn’t move, couldn’t cry out in fear. All Hero could do was wait.

They opened their eyes, taking long and heavy breaths. It was done. Hero leaned back, trying to calm down.

They hoped they wouldn’t regret this.

A loud gasp followed by a series of coughs made Hero lurch upright. They scrambled towards the noise, almost falling over as they reached Sidekick.

“Sidekick? You’re alive. You’re alive!” Hero took Sidekick into their arms, holding on tight. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“H-hero? What happened?” Sidekick said, eyes unfocused.

“You were out on patrol. You didn’t check in, and I got worried.” Hero held onto Sidekick as if they’d disappear the moment they let go. “It took me so long to find you, I was so scared.”

“I saw Villain.” Sidekick looked up. “I thought I could take them by myself, b-but I couldn’t. I’m so stupid, I should have called you as soon as I saw them.”

Hero squeezed their shoulder. “You’re not stupid. I should’ve realized you weren’t ready for solo patrol. Or kept you in the smaller areas, at the very least.”

Sidekick shook their head. “It’s not your fault. I kept on bugging you, and I made the choice to fight Villain alone.”

Hero pressed Sidekick’s forehead against their own. This was real. They were alive. Any doubts Hero had vanished the moment the colour in Sidekick’s cheeks returned. They would die before they saw the waxy, greyed skin again.

A slight smile appeared on Sidekick’s face, “Where did you look for me, anyway? A chimney? Your face is covered in soot.”

“Something like that.” Hero laughed halfheartedly, trying to hide their grimace.

Sidekick must have noticed, because they took Hero’s hands in their own. “I’m sorry.”

Hero rested their chin on Sidekick’s head, “Promise you’ll call for backup next time?”

“I promise. I love you.”