come on moonflower

*eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry*

*+1 hp* *+1 hp* *+1 hp* *+1 hp* *+1 hp*

Girls will say they busy and be in their bed relaxin or sleep

so? theyre busy relaxing in bed, mind your own business

whoever composed the mii music. Rivals mozart

The composer is Kazumi Totaka - the voice of yoshi and composer for animal crossing!

fuckin legend

Top Ten Reasons You Should Hire Me Despite My Disillusionment With Reality And My Subsequent Hatred For The System

in an attempt to appeal to the pathos of my potential employers, i wrote my resume using the same format a no-kill shelter would use to describe a geriatric dog

i am a gentle, mild-mannered young man looking for a forever job to spend the rest of my years in. though i may not be the most talented and versatile person on the job market, i’m the perfect employee for someone out there, and that someone just might be you(r company)!

I’m a very special girl who has captured the hearts of all our volunteers, but just keeps getting overlooked when it comes to that forever boss to call my own! Could it be you? I can use Excel and the toilet. Vaccinated.  

honestly if someone tenderly cradled my face i think at this point i would probably blackout

ladies are u all ok

no

the appeal of buzzfeed unsolved is that it’s not just a wacky believer and a strait-laced skeptic bc the skeptic is much weirder as a person than the believer. obviously the classic scully/mulder dynamic is very entertaining but there’s just something about a man who firmly does not believe in ghosts but does believe that it’s ok to eat a pickle floating in a pond “if it’s fresh”