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1. Put it on your schedule (and make sure you check your schedule.)

2. Tell your friends (so you become accountable.)

3. Build a new habit onto an existing ritual or routine.

4. Find a partner who wants to do it with you.

5. Plan in advance to make it easy for yourself.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

I tried to make these mostly positive, but life isn't always positive.

list ways to be kind to yourself

a moment a stranger changed your life that they didn't realize

small things in the world that are beautiful

steps forward you've taken in the last week/month/year (IT IS OK IF THEY ARE SMALL)

10 things you love about yourself

10 things you look forward to

hard questions to ask yourself

what moment in time would you go back to over and over?

what really just pisses you off right now? get it out.

the soundtrack to your life right now

something you know, something you want to know, something you have learned

draw yourself, label all the parts you love.

what is something you know is harming you but still keep around? don't feel guilty, just acknowledge it and be gentle with yourself

write a dialogue with your younger self, or a letter to them

is this what you thought your five year plan would look like five years ago?

roadmap to how you got here

I tried to make these mostly positive, but life isn't always positive.

list ways to be kind to yourself

a moment a stranger changed your life that they didn't realize

small things in the world that are beautiful

steps forward you've taken in the last week/month/year (IT IS OK IF THEY ARE SMALL)

10 things you love about yourself

10 things you look forward to

hard questions to ask yourself

what moment in time would you go back to over and over?

what really just pisses you off right now? get it out.

the soundtrack to your life right now

something you know, something you want to know, something you have learned

draw yourself, label all the parts you love.

what is something you know is harming you but still keep around? don't feel guilty, just acknowledge it and be gentle with yourself

write a dialogue with your younger self, or a letter to them

is this what you thought your five year plan would look like five years ago?

roadmap to how you got here

I’ve never read Lovecraft I’ve never heard that name but I thought “haha wouldn’t it be funny if I looked this guy up and he looked like my guy? Wouldn’t that be hilarious?” But I DID and HOLY FUCKING SHIT

This is him. This is the guy.

There are some differences, like my Zachariah never had tentacles, or a crown, but this is it. The yellow robes, the antlers-

I always drew him with sort of a shifting geometric pattern in the fabric but if this dude died and came back with a bare skull where his face is it would be exactly the same

You don’t have to say who is expecting you, or where you’re expected to be. They don’t need to know that, they just need to know you’re leaving. You don’t need other plans already, because other people don’t have any way of knowing if you’re telling the truth or not and social convention prohibits them from asking. They can’t argue that you shouldn’t have made plans for immediately after their event because that’s just their own fault for not telling you the correct timing. 

And if you’re like me and are autistic and incapable of lying, there’s still a way to make it work. Who says you can’t expect yourself to be somewhere? Who says you can’t be expected to be at home doing nothing? After all, the entire purpose of having a schedule in the first place is so that you have a time when you can expect whatever event to be finished. If you were ever given an end time, then at that time you can truthfully say that your past self expected you to be somewhere else afterwards, and then you can leave. 

The following can help you to find your true passion in life. Ask yourself:

1. What puts a smile on your face? Is there a particular event, a particular topic that makes your whole face just lighten up? Whatever it is that makes you smile, and makes you happy whenever you encounter it, this is a sign of something you are passionate about.

2. What do you find easy? Usually, what we find easy for us to do, will be related to what we are passionate about. It’s very hard to hate something that is very easy for us!

3. What sparks your creativity? Think about something in your life where you seem to always expand its horizon, always coming up with new, fun, and exciting ideas relating to that subject. Whatever makes you creative is probably something that you are very passionate about.

4. What would you do for free?. Doing what you have a passion for brings out your best, and this leads to greatness. Greatness breezes to success. So think about something that you would just love to do, even if you were not getting paid. Think about something that you look forward to doing, something that you wish you could do all the time.

5. What do you like to talk about? The topics of conversation we have can definitely tell what we are interested in, and this is a good way to find out what we really enjoy in life.

6. What makes you unafraid of failure? When we do what we are passionate about, we have total confidence in our abilities. This makes us not worry about failing, because in our mind, how can we fail when we do what we love?

7. What would you regret not having tried? If you were at the end of your life, what would you regret not having pursued? What would you have liked to do, that you didn’t get a chance to? Think about what that might be. Whatever it is that you may experience regret now or later on for not having tried, this is a good chance to be your true passion.

1. Share your story with someone. Often it helps to put the sadness into words.

2. Try to detach and unplug for a while. It’s hard to do more than the minimum right now.

3. Respect your need for space, and a period of low stress. Also, try to reduce your responsibilities.

4. Allow yourself to feel all the negative feelings. It’s counter-productive to push them down inside.

5. Take care of your body and your physical needs. This will help you heal emotionally, too.

6. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and deliberately invest in meaningful self care. It’s important that you treat yourself well.

1. Be wise in your friendships, and in choosing whom you’ll trust.

2. Love others deeply, and enjoy relationships.

3. Plan for the future - and work hard to succeed.

4. Practise being mindful and being present in ‘the now’.

5. Choose to be happy - despite life’s challenges.

6. Remember that life changes, and most storms pass with time.

I struggled keeping it clean.

I struggled getting it clean.

I would sincerely put in quite a bit of effort and be really proud of the progress I made. Then one of my parents would come check and see how I was doing.

"Well, you've still got a long way to go."

That sentence. I was like, 11 when my parents were saying that to me. It was crushing. All my pride and satisfaction with my work was completely gone. All my effort was worthless to them. All they saw what everything I didn't do.

At the age of ELEVEN, I knew that wasn't right. That wasn't fair. I swore to myself I would never invalidate someone's work like that.

Now, at 30, I catch myself thinking 'I cleaned up, but my apartment is still so messy.' and I flashback to standing in my bedroom as a child, hearing those fucking words from my parents.

'No. I wouldn't invalidate someone else's work. I'm not going to invalidate my own. I did good. I made progress.' and I'll list the things that I DID get done to myself.

You deserve credit for all the progress you make.

You deserve credit for all the work you do.

It doesn't matter how much work you have left.

What you accomplish, no matter how small, counts. Even when what you accomplished was taking a day to rest and recharge and give yourself a break.