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@flowercrownedcalamity
In Fanfiction, Shen Jiu usually falls for sweet shixiong Shen Yuan, but what about feral internet troll Shen Yuan?
Disciple: Head Disciple Shen should watch who he associates with. I've heard that Shen Jiu has been going behind the sects back to fuck whores
Shen Yuan: Well if Shen-shidi is fucking your mother, then maybe she'll end up giving birth to a better son!
Shen Jiu: That's him, the man that will one-day be my wife
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Its in the comments of another post, but what if the reason Hua Cheng is loved so much by Ghost City is because he supports unions.
Oh you guys have banded together to ensure your employer treats you fairly? Fantastic
Gege I'm contractually obligated to watch the girls dance twice a month. I can't betray their union
this makes a ton of sense actually since he's pretty much canonically an anarchist
also if you think about it ghost city is the ghosts unionizing against the cultivators who were hunting them
Anarchist King Hua Cheng is funny because he really does hate the establishment and the authority/ power it wields but he's, ya know, a king and a simp
And yeah he's a king operating in direct opposition to the Heavenly Emperor and he simps for the guy who's been voted "least likely to be corrupted by ultimate power" three times.
But a king is a king
I like to think the concept of Mobei Jun enjoying Shang Qinghua’s verbal rants ISN’T because MBJ isn’t thinking anything himself but is in fact Overthinking Everything. This man has been under constant threat from nearby sources his entire life. It’s probably pretty nice to hear this little hamster man beside him say all of his worries out loud and others that maybe he hadn’t considered yet and then Immediately find a way to counteract them.
Like first of all, the beautiful feeling of someone else ALSO being like ‘okay well maybe the fucking chandelier has been sabotaged to fall at the exact right time, has anyone planned for that??’ because MBJ’s been thinking it but one must also consider the optics of being a demon going around just attacking light sources, especially since he’s already destroyed three of them today, and being seen as afraid in general is Not a Great Look for survival and maintaining power.
But then SQH KEEPS talking and it’s all ‘and maybe it will explode in a poisonous gas that there’s only one antidote for god it’s a good thing cucumber-bro remembered that plotline and we were able to grab the Special Antidote Plant before this became a fucking issue for me to deal with on top of seating arrangements’ and MBJ hadn’t even considered the poisonous gas angle yet but that’s what he keeps this human around for. Validation and immediate escalation all tied up with Results. You can’t even say SQH is hyper cautious either because literally every time he starts mumbling about some insanely complicated potential sabotage it happens like five minutes later.
Do y’all think Pei Xiu recognized Xie Lian when he came down to handle the ghost groom case? Like imagine when you were a kid, you and your childhood best friend were irreparably traumatized when her adoptive father died in front of you, highkey radicalizing both of you and leading to you teaming up to do hella war crimes together, which subsequently gets her killed and you made a god, but now you’re dealing with a massive coverup for the rest of your immortal life. That one death changed your life forever, and said coverup has ensured that you will never be able to forget it or move on.
And then two hundred years later you’re on some random job to pick up a prisoner from that weirdo scrap god everyone’s talking about, and who do you come face to face with but your dead friend’s dead dad, who is both alive and wearing a wedding dress.
Pour one out for Little Pei, man’s gotta be exhausted
If I had a nickel for every time in the last six weeks I have found a $100 bill on the ground while walking, and it was real, I would have 2 nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird (and cool) it happened twice.
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Shen Qingqiu, handing Yue Qingyuan a baby: Hold this
Yue Qingyuan: Of course, Xiao-Jiu. Who is this?
Shen Qingqiu: This is Shen Yuan, our child. I gave birth to him. You will take responsibility
Yue Qingyuan: Of course. I will make preparations for our wedding ASAP
Shen Qingqiu: Good.
Qi Qingqi: I don't remember Shen Qingqiu being pregnant?
Mu Qingfang: I believe that our shixiong just grabbed some random orphan to baby trap Yue Qingyuan with
Love Shen Twins au’s where Shen Yuan is just as bad as Shen Jiu just in a completely different way.
Like, everyone thinks Shen Jiu is the scary twin because he’s always glaring at people but behind Shen Yuan’s sweet words he is actually quite apathetic towards anyone who he doesn’t care for and even Shen Jiu is a bit terrified of him sometimes
Like at least Shen Jiu is honest. You can be under the impression that you’re on good terms with Shen Yuan and he’ll straight up let you die on their next mission. He doesn’t see the worst in people like Shen Jiu because he doesn’t see them as people or anything more than NPC’s.
Shen Yuan doesn’t see it this way of course but sometimes Shen Jiu sees the way Shen Yuan can act so kind to those he hates and is somewhat terrified
SQQ who is fed up with YQY. Sqq just wanted to drop off his mission report to the sect leader and then go down the mountain and get some sleep, but noooooo, YQY has to throw himself a pity party because he doesn't trust sqq not to throw them down the path of mutual destruction by revealing the 'vaunted' sect leaders sordid past.
So he snaps.
He looks YQY dead in the eye and with no emotion says, "Kill Liu Qingge and all is forgiven and forgotten."
He'd assumed this would end the dramatics. He'd assumed that every time they started up again he could just say "You know what I want and it's not this priceless guqin."
He'd assumed wrong.
YQY goes quiet for only a moment, then he starts going through a pile of papers. "At the moment it doesn't look like there are any missions challenging enough to warrant sending him, let alone one he could feasibly die to. I could fabricate one, Shang-shidi is diligent about contacting clients for recompense in the event of death or catastrophe. It's likely better to wait for something to come up, but you've waited long enough; I can figure something out.
"Do you have an alibi for yourself already in mind or should I arrange something so that you're visibly on the mountain when I kill him?"
And more than the words themselves, but the calm, matter of fact tone YQY uses, the expression of "Ah yes a task I can do easily" as if murdering his martial brother is as mentally taxing as commissioning another fan.
Sqq realizes YQY is fundamentally wrong somehow.
He grabs him by the lapels. "What did they do to you? What did they do to you while I was stuck in hell?"
⋆.˚ 𓂃 Despite it all, you'd still choose him? 𓂃⋆.˚
I went to the hospital today thinking I had strep, but instead it turns out I have small cysts growing in my tonsils and pharnyx and epiglottitis. They are technically benign right now, but the doctor wants to remove them surgically as well as my tonsils since they keep getting stones. So I'm not allowed to speak, drink, smoke, eat certain foods, etc until I can schedule surgery. Since it's not urgent it may take several months. Small chance something may go wrong and I'll lose my voice permanently, tbh every time I get sick I lose it anyways and I go selective mute a lot so that's not too stressful. But yeah, what a way to end the week right?
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My cat is dead. She's been in the family since I was just a kid. so I'm going to be radio silent for a bit.
Banyue nonsense
Feng Xin: Did you have to bring your boy toy along?
Xie Lian: He's not my boy toy
Mu Qing: Fine. Arm candy. Whatever
Xie Lian: He's not that either!
Mu Qing:....He's not your sugar baby is he? His clothes cost more than your whole shrine. You can't afford a sugar baby
Xie Lian: He's not my sugar baby either! He's just a friend!
Mu Qing: Oh no he's your sugar daddy
Feng Xin: DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! No sugar daddy worth their salt would allow their sugar baby to live in a run-down shack!
Xie Lian: Please quit talking about my home like that
Feng Xin: I'd bet even that menace Crimson Rain would treat His Highness better!
Mu Qing: Oh yeah, there's an idea. After we're done here let's just take a quick trip to Ghost City to see if the scourge of the heavens is interested in a sugar baby
Stop that's hilarious
grabby hands
Shen Yuan: I still don't understand how you're still single. You're so hot!
Liu Qingge: It's because the man I'm in love with is straight
Shen Yuan: What, is he blind? Even a straight man would want to go out with you!
Liu Qingge: Really? Do you want to go out on a date with me?
Shen Yuan: You know what, yes! Let's show your crush what he's missing out on!
Liu Qingge: Holy shit, it was this easy this whole time?!
Two absolute disasters and I’m obsessed with them
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A casual teatime at Qing Jing Peak ~
Clinging
