floot writes

There's absolutely no rule that says every piece of writing needs to be perfect or needs to be part of a story or needs to be polished up and posted on the web for all to see.

Assuming that everything you write (or draw or create in any other way) has to be "good enough" to share can really fuck you up. Do it for fun, do it for practice, do it for the feral friends who will love it even when it's shit. It's okay to make complete bullshit sometimes.

Sometimes you'll write something only to go back later and realise it's not complete bullshit, and actually it's worth polishing up into something worth posting. Sometimes it will be complete tosh you want to make sure no one but you ever sees.

Both those outcomes are okay. Both those outcomes are practice.

1. The "rules" that are mostly only intended to be followed to the letter while you're learning your craft, and to serve as a safe starting point.

2. Fashion. No, really, a lot of writing advice comes down to what is currently in style. Example: Right now, the most fashionable POV is tight third person (although first person is also widely accepted).

Mastering the rules and current fashions and writing within them at first will help you hone your chops to the point at which you will have the expertise to know when and how to intentionally break the rules or go against fashion for your desired effect--and you WILL break some rules eventually.

It's like learning to cook, though; you might start off following a recipe to the letter, but eventually you develop the insight to know exactly how adding that extra bit of cumin is going to affect the end result. Or like learning guitar--before you can shred like Hendrix, you've got to learn basic chords and fingering.

Hey artists, C. Spike Trotman, founder of Iron Circus Comics, just posted an invaluable thread on depicting different types of black hair. I’d do the thing where you screencap the whole thread and post it but it’s just too long (which is great because it’s a whole lot of useful information!) Give her a follow while you’re there.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

This is a subject I could go on about forever, but it’s late and I’m tired so imma boil it down:

1) If use of lube, condoms etc is spoiling the moment, that is a writing failure, it does not mean that those things automatically spoil the mood.

And don’t get me wrong, not throwing stones. I have used shortcuts, I have handwaved stuff because I couldn’t figure out how to make it work or just couldn’t be arsed. I’m not saying go repent in sackcloth and ashes if you ever had a couple of characters indulge in unsafe sex, I’m saying be honest enough to say it’s a choice you made, and don’t fall back on the lazy excuse that it wasn’t possible or that lube or condoms or foreplay would somehow spoil things. It’s just not true that these things can’t be tackled without spoiling a moment, and to claim that is just making excuses. Stop doing that. Please.

2) Be aware that much as people try to say these things spoil the mood or make a story less enjoyable or sexy, depending on your reader, the reverse may well be true. The assumption that realism is automatically less sexy is just inaccurate.

If I read a scene where a guy thrusts into a woman in one stroke, then unless they have worked up a head of steam so I know she’s ready, I assure you, I’m wincing at my computer screen. If you are having a character get anally penetrated without lube, then unless there’s some in universe explanation (even if it’s just magic! magic works! this isn’t rocket science!) or you tackle the fact they’re the rare and lucky individual for whom that works without discomfort (something I’ve only heard about as rumour, but I’m prepared to believe they exist… just not that they’re so common your characters can take it for granted that this is okay), then my eyes are watering in sympathy. Those are the two examples that are most obvious and that make me cringe most often, if it wasn’t so late, I dare say there would be more.

And I don’t mean “I’m clutching my pearls and having a conniption fit because of Poor Writing” - it means I’m viscerally reacting because ouch! This shit can fucking hurt.

~~~

Like, okay, people will continue to write wildly unrealistic fanfic smut that defies anatomy and makes me want to cross my legs forever. I’m resigned to that.

But can we please stop pretending it’s because realism can’t be sexy or can’t be incorporated into said sex scenes without making them unsexy? And can we maybe acknowledge that as well as the possibility that realism can be sexy, that supposed “fantasy” sex that can’t be bothered with any of those boring things like condoms and lube and foreplay might not actually be inherently hotter and may actually be really damn cringeworthy? And that criticism of that is because people are empathising with the characters? That maybe it’s possible to write smut that is hot without throwing reality out of the window and where the people involved would have fun for better reasons than “because I’m saying they did”?

Honestly, it’s not even the lack of realism that bothers me so much (although I generally ignore smut that makes zero effort to be realistic), it’s the notion (that I’ve seen hinted at to outright stated) that realism can’t be sexy. I’ve written smut which ignored basic realities of safe sex or cleanup or whatever, I am not dictating from perfect writer mountain here. Sometimes I made a choice to do so, sometimes I was either lazy or simply couldn’t find a way around it, which is a writing fail on my part. It’s not because it was impossible to incorporate realism, it’s because I chose not to or I couldn’t figure it out. I don’t beat myself up about it, so I don’t expect others to. (Although I reserve the right to entirely avoid reading stories where realism is ignored to the point of making me cringe…)

What really bothers me is when people act like they’re writing fantasy perfect sex (often with no humanity, tbh) because it’s hotter (not necessarily) or because it’s impossible to write good smut and make some kind of nod to reality at the same time (it’s not).

… I’m waffling. Seriously, though, much as I adore and appreciate smut that is realistic and fun and still sexy, my issue is less with the people who write the fantasy stuff (even though I will continue to publish posts trying to help people to write the more grounded stuff that I personally think is way better) and more with how some of the folks who wrote the fantasy excuse it as being somehow necessary. That’s the notion I want to kill with fire.

I mean, I’ve literally seen people who’ve had anal sex and are putting forward the notion that lube is a Good Thing™ get shouted down and told off, which… 😳 wow.

(Aside: I do stand by my comment that smut is better when the parties involved actually seem like they’re genuinely having fun, because it’s obvious from how they’re behaving and what they’re doing that that is a genuine possibility, rather than the author insisting they’re having fun but failing to show it.

If you can't write: Edit.

If you can't edit: Outline.

If you can't outline: Brainstorm.

If you can't brainstorm: Rest.

Fellow fanfic writers I have a question!

This is a subject I could go on about forever, but it’s late and I’m tired so imma boil it down:

1) If use of lube, condoms etc is spoiling the moment, that is a writing failure, it does not mean that those things automatically spoil the mood.

And don’t get me wrong, not throwing stones. I have used shortcuts, I have handwaved stuff because I couldn’t figure out how to make it work or just couldn’t be arsed. I’m not saying go repent in sackcloth and ashes if you ever had a couple of characters indulge in unsafe sex, I’m saying be honest enough to say it’s a choice you made, and don’t fall back on the lazy excuse that it wasn’t possible or that lube or condoms or foreplay would somehow spoil things. It’s just not true that these things can’t be tackled without spoiling a moment, and to claim that is just making excuses. Stop doing that. Please.

2) Be aware that much as people try to say these things spoil the mood or make a story less enjoyable or sexy, depending on your reader, the reverse may well be true. The assumption that realism is automatically less sexy is just inaccurate.

If I read a scene where a guy thrusts into a woman in one stroke, then unless they have worked up a head of steam so I know she’s ready, I assure you, I’m wincing at my computer screen. If you are having a character get anally penetrated without lube, then unless there’s some in universe explanation (even if it’s just magic! magic works! this isn’t rocket science!) or you tackle the fact they’re the rare and lucky individual for whom that works without discomfort (something I’ve only heard about as rumour, but I’m prepared to believe they exist… just not that they’re so common your characters can take it for granted that this is okay), then my eyes are watering in sympathy. Those are the two examples that are most obvious and that make me cringe most often, if it wasn’t so late, I dare say there would be more.

And I don’t mean “I’m clutching my pearls and having a conniption fit because of Poor Writing” - it means I’m viscerally reacting because ouch! This shit can fucking hurt.

~~~

Like, okay, people will continue to write wildly unrealistic fanfic smut that defies anatomy and makes me want to cross my legs forever. I’m resigned to that.

But can we please stop pretending it’s because realism can’t be sexy or can’t be incorporated into said sex scenes without making them unsexy? And can we maybe acknowledge that as well as the possibility that realism can be sexy, that supposed “fantasy” sex that can’t be bothered with any of those boring things like condoms and lube and foreplay might not actually be inherently hotter and may actually be really damn cringeworthy? And that criticism of that is because people are empathising with the characters? That maybe it’s possible to write smut that is hot without throwing reality out of the window and where the people involved would have fun for better reasons than “because I’m saying they did”?

Honestly, it’s not even the lack of realism that bothers me so much (although I generally ignore smut that makes zero effort to be realistic), it’s the notion (that I’ve seen hinted at to outright stated) that realism can’t be sexy. I’ve written smut which ignored basic realities of safe sex or cleanup or whatever, I am not dictating from perfect writer mountain here. Sometimes I made a choice to do so, sometimes I was either lazy or simply couldn’t find a way around it, which is a writing fail on my part. It’s not because it was impossible to incorporate realism, it’s because I chose not to or I couldn’t figure it out. I don’t beat myself up about it, so I don’t expect others to. (Although I reserve the right to entirely avoid reading stories where realism is ignored to the point of making me cringe…)

What really bothers me is when people act like they’re writing fantasy perfect sex (often with no humanity, tbh) because it’s hotter (not necessarily) or because it’s impossible to write good smut and make some kind of nod to reality at the same time (it’s not).

… I’m waffling. Seriously, though, much as I adore and appreciate smut that is realistic and fun and still sexy, my issue is less with the people who write the fantasy stuff (even though I will continue to publish posts trying to help people to write the more grounded stuff that I personally think is way better) and more with how some of the folks who wrote the fantasy excuse it as being somehow necessary. That’s the notion I want to kill with fire.

I mean, I’ve literally seen people who’ve had anal sex and are putting forward the notion that lube is a Good Thing™ get shouted down and told off, which… 😳 wow.

(Aside: I do stand by my comment that smut is better when the parties involved actually seem like they’re genuinely having fun, because it’s obvious from how they’re behaving and what they’re doing that that is a genuine possibility, rather than the author insisting they’re having fun but failing to show it.

Human creatives have the right to write/link related fics to mine, translate, make art for, make podfics of my fanworks, anything transformative that is human made. (Please let me know! I want to see!)

I don't commission random spammers who have obviously not read the story they're posting on; you will be reported/muted/blocked.

Baby authors out there, please hear this:

If someone wants to make art of your stuff, they will either just do it, or they will ask and not expect you to go to a different site to "discuss" it with them.

They will not ask for payment.

They will not comment generic things; anyone who's that excited about your story? It will be obvious they've read it.

This is generic. These people have not read my story. (These people have also not read my profile, where I explicitly say, in bold, that these kinds of comments will get reported.)

If you get comments like this, I promise they haven't read your story either. They are trying to get you somewhere they can message you privately, where more experienced people can't see and go "wait!" They want your money. (They have a strong chance of just being people feeding a prompt into AI, they're not even actual artists.)

Report them. Mute them. Block them.

Do not make contact with them on another social media.

Someone who's that excited about your stuff will comment right there and make the art anyway. I've made friends in AO3 comments, and exchanged contact information... because it was very obvious those people were engaged with the story I'd written.

If someone is commenting in a way that is highly complimentary but very generic? They did not read your story.

✦ “Was it worth it?”  “Would it make you feel better if I said no?”

✧ “Did you at least learn a valuable lesson from this?” “Did I learn– Do you want to fucking die?”

✦ “Are you expecting me to beg?”  “Are you expecting me to show mercy if you don’t?”

✧ “You ever gonna forgive me for this?” “In this lifetime? Take a guess.”

✦ “Are you just gonna stand there?”  “What else should I do? Beg?

✧ “Given my history, I wonder why you even gave me a chance?” “I'm wondering that too just about now.”

✦ “This is a joke, right?”  “Am I laughing?”

✧ “You really never suspected me?” “Why would I have?”

✦ “You knew all along. You knew it was gonna end this way, didn’t you?”  “I hoped it would.”

What up, nerds? I thought some fellow Trek fans might be interested in this event for fan artists and commenters! It's a great way to counteract fake engagement in your fandom and encourage your fan writers when there's a lot of spam going about. (It's not Trek specific! You can do this in any fandom!)

What is it?

A bingo event designed to counteract art commission scammers and encourage fic writers by making art for the fics you love in any fandom!

How it works:

Sign up via the entry form below. You’ll get a bingo card with prompts guiding you towards fics in any fandom. Pick a fic, make any kind of art you like (drawings, embroidery, playlists, memes, etc.), and share with the fic author to mark off each square.

Can’t draw?

You can make any kind of art you like – crochet, decorated cookies, composing a score, recording a podfic...

OR join the Fanfic Comment Challenge via the same entry form!

When is it?

Jan 1-31, 2026

Questions/concerns?

Check out the event FAQ or message the Fanart Frenzy team!

Sign up here!

We’ve gotten some asks about using AI to make stuff for the event and if it will be accepted and we want to clear it up now: No, AI is not accepted in any form for Fanart Frenzy.

Fanart Frenzy is an event created to combat scammers that were targeting fanfic writers, many of whom use AI as part of their tactic. Being anti-AI is baked into this event at its core. AI is theft and we find the use of it to be disrespectful to the many wonderful artists and writers that have signed up to participate in this event and support each other through their creations.

We firmly believe that anything you, a human, can create is better than whatever an AI can put out. Your work is valuable because you created it, perceived flaws and all. You don't have to be good at something to create for this event- it's only going to be meaningful if you create.

We promise that your fellow writers, any writers, will be thrilled to receive any product made by your hand. Even if you think it’s bad or messy or imperfect. It’s real, and it’s human.

All that said, we would like to again reinforce: no, AI is not allowed in this event.

Sending an AI product to a fanfic writer as a 'gift' is like taking a photo of an official artwork on your computer screen, and sending the pixelated, second-hand image. The writer is going to be like....o...kay????

There's no meaning to the gift, as no one made it.

There's no meaning to the gift, as the fanfic writer could have generated the same thing with a button click.

Easy Method

Host your video or audio file on one of the supported websites listed in Ao3’s FAQ and use their native embed code. Simply copy the embed code and paste it into the work text section of your Ao3 draft, tag it as you would a fic, and post! Make sure you are using the HTML input and not the Rich Text input when copy-pasting.

Mildly Complicated Method

Ao3 does not support iframes from any site not listed as a host site in their FAQ. However, that doesn’t mean you are limited to those sites. Ao3 supports both the <video> and <audio> HTML tags, which if supported by the viewer’s browser, generates an iframe for them. We say mildly complicated because it isn’t as simple as a copy-paste, but it’s not hard either.

The code you will be using is:

<video controls> <source src=“Video URL”> </video> 

or 

<audio controls> <source src=“Audio URL”> </audio> 

depending on your needs. The video tag supports formats in MP4, WebM, and OGG while the audio tag supports MP3, WAV, and OGG. If your content isn’t in one of those formats, it’s not going to work.

You get your video/audio URL by uploading it to your host site of choice, right-clicking on the video/audio itself, and copying the video/audio link. You insert that in between the quotation marks.

If, for whatever reason, there isn’t an option to copy the audio or video link, opening the video or audio into a new tab will place the link in the URL of that new tab. If your host site truly hates you and doesn’t offer you that option in the right-click dropdown either (such as Tumblr with audio posts), here are the steps to do so:

Right-click on the audio/video and select Inspect

2. Click on the Network tab in the inspector. You may have to select “Reload” or refresh the page for things to appear in it. You should now have something like this at the bottom of your screen

3. Play the audio/video in question.

4. In the initiator column in the inspector, find “media”

5. Follow that row to the size column and right-click. This should bring up a menu with an option to Open in a New Tab. Click it..

6. The audio/video URL is now the URL of the new tab. Copy it and paste in between the quotation marks in your code

The code with your URL goes into the work text of your Ao3 draft just like the previous method. Make sure you are pasting into the HTML input, select your tags, and post!

If you would like to customize the size of your video player, you can add width and height designations in the beginning video tag like so:

<video width=“320” height=“240” controls>

This example should generate an iframe 320 pixels wide by 240 pixels tall.