Incorrect Emanations
Janeway: Captain's log - We’ve discovered a new element. I wonder if they'll let me call it Janewayium? Janeway: Actually that sounds really fucking stupid so forget it. Janeway: Maybe Kathrynium?
Kim: Captain, this new element's got a fat ass. Janeway: Let's get us some of that booty!
On the Asteroid
Chakotay: What the hell is this? Torres: It's a cobweb you fucking moron.
Torres: …And now I see dead people. Kim: This is fine.
Chakotay: Captain, one of the bodies arrived twelve hours ago. Janeway: Arrived? Like Amazon Prime? Chakotay: Yes. But with more eco-friendly packaging
Kim: We should study them. Chakotay: We should not study them. Kim: But they're covered in the fat element Chakotay: Then we definitely don't want any of that booty
Kim: Commander, I think something funky's going on Chakotay: Tricorders! Kim: You literally just told us not to use tricorders. Chakotay: Don't worry - desecrating burial sites used to be something of a hobby. Kim: What? Chakotay: What?
Seska: I’m doing a blind beam‑out. Janeway: Seska, that phrase has never once led to good outcomes. Seska: Oh, fucking hell I actually manage to rescue them. Fuck my life. Seska: What a day to overact competency
Kim disappears. A corpse appears.
Torres: We lost Harry but gained a dead woman. That’s… not a trade I wanted. Janeway: Why does my kid keep getting kidnapped?
EMH: I revived her. You’re welcome. Janeway: Doctor, she thinks this is the afterlife. EMH: Well, she’s wrong. The afterlife has better staffing.
Kim: Is this a coffin? What the fuck?
Neria: You came from the Next Emanation. Kim: I came from an asteroid full of dead people. Neria: We're going to pretend we didn't hear that and then we're probably going to dissect you.
Hatil: I’m scheduled to die today. Kim: I’m scheduled to panic today. Hatil: My family thinks it’s best. Kim: Your family needs therapy.
Torres: Captain, bodies keep appearing on the ship. Janeway: I'm sick of this solar system already. Tuvok: Crewmembers keep tripping over dead people. Janeway: I'm sick of this whole fucking quadrant.
Ptera: Where is my afterlife? Kes: Maybe your soul moved on. Ptera: We don’t have souls. Kes: …Well that complicates things.
Torres: We can recreate the transporter accident. Janeway: We’re recreating an accident on purpose? Chakotay: Yes. Janeway, tearing up: Starfleet would be proud.
Ptera: This ship is so grey and the food is so boring I'd rather die than stay here, sign me up for the accident. Janeway: This all worked out very neatly. I love when a plan comes together!
Seska: I’m losing her pattern! Janeway: Stop losing people! Seska: Don't fucking tell me what to do! Kes: She’s dead. Seska: Oh my, oh dear, I'm shook, really. What a surprise!
Neria: Harry, people are scared of you. Kim: But... people usually find me cute and harmless.
Hatil: I don’t want to die. Kim: Then don’t. Hatil: My family expects it. Kim: How big is your life insurance policy? Just fake your death! Hatil: You're insane. Kim: My boss is Kathryn Janeway, so that tracks.
Kim, wrapped like a mummy: Goodbye, wife. Hatil's wife: See you in the afterlife. Kim, inside the coffin instead: Surprise, suckers!
Torres: We're gonna get another body any second. Janeway: Grab him! Seska: Locking on! Kim: *beams aboard* Kim: I AM NEVER DYING AGAIN. Seska: Don't be so sure.
