flnch

sometimes i'm like "there's a million different interpretations you can have of pieces of art and as long as it's based on the actual text it's completely valid!" and other times i'm like "anyone who thinks that i don't dance from high school musical 2 is about anything other than gay sex are objectively wrong"

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

Heated Rivalry is a closed door hockey romance in the sense that they fade to black on the hockey. The sex is explicit, but the hockey is implied.

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

I'm not gonna lie the secret to success for a great many people is absolutely stimulant abuse

OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

my mythology pet peeve is when someone describes a scenario in which they keep nearly getting something and then having it snatched away, and everyone's like "one must imagine sisyphus" no!!! one must imagine TANTALUS!!! sisyphus = being made to perform a pointless, aggravating task over and over without ever making any progress. tantalus = being offered a glorious reward only for it to vanish as soon as you reach for it. they are NOT the same