the queen

Obligatory truck I don’t trust reblog

can’t eat green vegetables and can’t go outside for fresh air i always knew i wanted to live like a mistreated studio apartment dog

iwtv seasons one and two was like being tucked into bed and read a heartbreaking story by Louis du pointe du lac. The Vampire Lestat is like your blackout drunk uncle trying to tell you an anecdote at a family gathering

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

not a female 👍

I dislike the violence and unpredictability of the ice dispenser

smash or pass a gentle summer rainstorm

smash to smithereens brother

this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years

you’re right, that’s significantly less weird

i bless the bonnie over africa

The bonnie is in geosychronous orbit, thus over all the Earth’s bodies of water

the bonnie is merely moving very fast, perhaps at hypersonic velocity, relative to the singer

most of the time everything sucks but when the sky is blanketed in dark blue-grey clouds after heavy raining and the sun starts to peek through the clouds so that the tops of trees glint pale green and every white structure is starkly, blindingly silhouetted against the sky i’m ok.

I am dying