had a dream griffin mcelroy was giving tours at the aquarium as like a special guest kind of thing and every time he’d stop in front of an animal he’d be like “alright gang gather round. i have no idea what the FUCK this is” and then we’d move on

beg for your life, tennis boy

Can he send just like one tweet right now just one tweet I’m begging

being OCpilled is so fucking mortifying honestly. like oh... yeah..... heres my guy. i invented him. i can't think about anything else except for him this week. but he isn't cool or anything. he actually sucks. im just ill.

Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)

no i don’t have plans later. i will, however, be taking extensive poison damage periodically for the foreseeable future. but beyond that my schedule is totally open

if you hear me going “haugh.” or perhaps “augh” every so often and see me doubling over. well. Don’t even worry about it.

doctors will be like. yeah. there’s something so so so so wrong with you. idk what and I don’t really care

therapists saying you're surprisingly self aware is like being called a pleasure to have in class for adults

growing up I was always afraid of being Found Out. not sure what I was hiding. just my whole self I guess

the experience of animal in your house never gets old. fuck yes dude there's an animal in here. did you guys know about the animal

hi yes I'd like to order a fucking break for the next million years please. thankyou.