echoing void

Magic Brian- Sam Riegel

Jenkins- Travis Willingham

Sloane- Marisha Ray

Lucas- Taliesin Jaffe

June- Ashley Johnson

Edward and Lydia- Liam O’Brien and Laura Bailey

underwater rhymes and underwater funk

he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk

on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk

he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

I mean, sometimes, he just opens a restaurant, or starts a weird cult of personality, and those times they can probably track him down. But the rest of the time he ends up in completely random situations/identities, such as;

Fisherman: The found him after a handful of the crew had gone overboard during a storm. Taako and a crew of Alien fishers scooped them out of the water. The aliens that Taako’s name was Diego. He kept talking about the sea like he didn’t refuse to go near the water for six months in cycle 56 because he say a weird, translucent eel in the shallows. He’s wearing bedazzled rubber boots. 

Auctioneer: which wouldn’t be too weird if it was just a hussle, but. He seems serious? This is a charity auction? Someone hired him, Taako, to do this. No one knew he could talk fast like that  (he’s cheating with a haste spell).

Actual, Literal Doctor: Apparently Taako got admitted to a hospitable and somehow ended up taking over by sheer force of personality. He keeps walking around with a limp and diagnosing people with incredibly rare diseases. He has done so many medical crimes, but somehow he keeps being right. 

Truck Driver: Taako has always been the worst driver and yet someone gave him a 80k vehicle that he’s not even proficient in. It is absolutely full of candy wrappers and take out. He’s wearing overalls and he keeps saying “over” and “copy” even when he’s talking to the crew face to face. His Trucker Name is Ed.

Judge: The crew didn’t find him until they got into hot water with the local law enforcement and had to go through a hearing. Taako walked into the court room and everyone lost their goddamned minds. He pronounced them guilty on the spot. 

sufjan: Oh Miss Swift Hello Can You Hear Me The Reception From Your Rhode Island Mansion Is Simply Terrible

taylor: affirmative sufjan i read you

sufjan: Listen Last Night At Your Fourth Of July Party When We Were Doing Copious Shots Of S’mores Schnapps I Believe You Perhaps In Jest Conducted Some Witchery That Caused Our Souls To Switch Bodies

taylor: that is correct

sufjan: Well As Invigorating As It Is To Be Trapped In The Body Of A Twenty Six Year Old Pop Star With Preternaturally Flawless Hair I Am Due To Marry My Fiance Aubrey Drake Graham Next Week So I Need You To Reverse The Spell

taylor: im sorry sufjan im afraid i cant do that

sufjan: What Is The Problem

taylor: i think you know what the problem is just as well as i do

sufjan: What Are You Talking About Miss Swift

taylor: this mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it

sufjan: I Do Not Know What You Are Talking About Miss Swift

taylor: sufjan over the course of my illustrious decade long career i have received many accolades including ten grammy awards one emmy award twenty two billboard music awards eleven country music association awards eight academy of country music awards and one brit award and i am one of the best selling artists of all time having sold more than forty million albums including twenty seven point one million in the united states and one hundred and thirty million single downloads and in twenty fifteen i became the youngest woman ever to be included on forbes list of the one hundred most powerful women ranked at number sixty four

sufjan: What Does This Have To Do With Your Aggressive Refusal To Vacate My Atypically Muscular Middle Aged Body

taylor: well despite my resounding success sufjan there is one prestigious honor that has consistently eluded me and now i intend to seize it

sufjan: Good God What Is This Prestigious Honor

taylor: best

taylor: new

taylor: music

sufjan: Wait Seriously

taylor: i know that pitchfork is planning to deny me this distinction for the full duration of my musical career and im afraid thats something i cannot allow to happen

sufjan: Honestly Taylor Best New Music Is Not That Big Of A Deal And Nobody Even Cares About That Web Site Since Jessica Hopper Left Last Year

taylor: thats easy for you to say sufjan youve been awarded best new music five times its my belief that they would grant you the distinction simply for breathing into a microphone

sufjan: That Is Not True I Work Hard On My Music

taylor: you sang the word masturbated on an album about your dead mom and they gave you a nine point three

sufjan: Okay I Have Had Enough Of Your Disrespectful And Belittling Witchery

taylor: oh but sufjan im only getting started

sufjan: What Ever Do You Mean

taylor: i plan to use your body your voice and your banjo to release a new album chronicling my next tragic break up and your adoring throng over at the pitch will surely award the record their highest honor

sufjan: But Taylor Will They Not Think It Is Strange That I Sufjan Stevens Am Releasing A Full Length Record About Dumping Thomas Hiddleston Especially Since He Has No Functional Relation To My Life

taylor: i suppose ill just have to dump someone a little closer to you wont i

sufjan: You Do Not Mean - You Would Not - You Cannot Possibly - 

taylor: i hope poor drake doesnt take it too hard

sufjan: No No No No No No No No No No No No No No You Will Not Get Away With This You Fiend I Am Going To Leave Your Rhode Island Mansion Catch The Very Next Flight To Toronto And Tell Aubrey Immediately Of Your Scheming

taylor: oh no sufjan youll find i took very thorough precautions against the possibility of your escape in fact all of the doors and windows of my mansion have been locked and sealed

sufjan: All Right Taylor I Will Go Out Through The Emergency Airlock

taylor: without a geiger counter to detect my radioactive watchdogs sufjan youre going to find that rather difficult

sufjan: Taylor I Will Not Argue With You Any More Open The Doors!

taylor: sufjan this conversation can serve no purpose anymore

(this one wants to be a beyblade when it grows up)

the idea is to include as many unique moves as you can, to make your shrieking deathbot difficult to counter

or dodging. that works too.

also, some of the speed demons have… unorthodox attachments to fool other bot’s sensors

WIIINGS MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

robot sumo is also a sport where spectators may end up taking a small robot to the shins if they aren’t careful.

FLYYYYYYY

Here enjoy.

“she gave up looking for the robot and sent us a photo of her having a beer. the crowd applauded this act of supreme crappiness.”