smorch

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

Burger queen divorced him

How to become normal under 48 hours

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

*leaves

where are you going

(replying to my mutual's post about their day) We have to kill the people who make you suffer

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

Tomorrow I will be inventing the wheel

life could be so much easier if i could oscillate between a pussy and a dick at will but im sure many people feel this way

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats