A museum of shitposts

Main cast are Goncharov himself, his wife Katya (née Michailov), and Andrey 

One side character is named Mario Ambrosini. He is described as a “sad boi” and is involved in gambling. 

Set in Naples and involving a drug ring/mafia. The plot seems to involve Russian organized crime attempting to get a foothold in Italy. 

There is a Boat Scene. Katya survives via resourcefulness. 

Andrey and Goncharov have a substantial amount of homoeroticism. Andrey also has an internet in Katya. This forms a true love triangle. 

At some point, Katya threatens to shoot Goncharov. This is framed as a Girlboss Moment. 

There is also a Beer Bottle Scene. 

A supporting female character named Sofia makes an appearance, wearing a cocktail dress. Katya protects her at some point. They’re both in the Boat Scene. At one point they buy fruit together in a marketplace. This is lesbian shipping fuel. 

The villain, likely Mario, has a sidekick named Icepick Joe. Joe commits a final act of heroism before being left for dead— after being killed by an Icepick. Perhaps he turned against Mario and was killed in retaliation?

Goncharov, played by DeNiro, has a very distinctive manner of walking. 

There’s a Bridge Scene. This is the one with the clocktower chiming in the background.

There’s a scene involving a tank of anchovies. 

Icepick Joe has a traumatic backstory 

Katya betrays Goncharov AND Sofia. She’s well-intentioned, but it all comes crashing down, ending in her losing them both— losing Sofia emotionally and inadvertently causing Goncharov’s death

Don’t worry, we don’t have Elon Musk here… 

But hipsters beware, you’re in for a scare!

*GOOSEBUMPS THEME INTENSIFIES*

This isn’t Twitter. This isn’t your average every day site. This is Tumblr. We’re crazy. We’re weird. We don’t fit in. We’re the fangirls, the fujoshis, the Superwholockers, and the Steven Universe Critical bloggers. We forgot what “normal” was. So if you’re expecting a normal website…

actually shitting my fucking pants over the newest installation in the twitter users moving to tumblr drama.

“this shit made my skin crawl” bitch that was THE POINT how insane do you actually have to be to think that this was unironic in any shape or form.