stOp dOing cOke with thOse jOkes

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Maybe the dog wants to chill and get fucked up off rum & cokes ? Did u ever consider that ?

also known as the fatty crazy

when you come out your shit is still there

youll catch a nice breeze to the head

Most loved therefore they say it

rolling snake eyes is a bad thing. being a snake in the grass is a bad thing. being cold-blooded is a bad thing. the english language is so fucking hostile for snakes why do you hate us so bad

NOT TO MENTION snake oil salesmen are famously sketchy. why do you hate our oils

really funny character concept i will definitely be using some day: oil salesman who is a snake. introduced as a snake oil salesman

he's a painfully honest and sincere oil salesman. he's not selling miracle cures he's telling you exactly what it is. and what it is, is oil. he's got olive oil coconut oil corn oil. every kind of oil you can think of

squidward hospitalized for covid and they put him in the squid ward. the nurse is always coming at him, she’s always moving squidward. he can’t escape the room, they got a witch to put up a squid ward. he belongs to the hospital now, they’re calling him their squid ward.

le miserable. there's just one of him

on the subject of it often being out of character for characters to be having carefully negotiated bdsm sex in smut fics: 90% of metal gear ships are insane toxic yaoi and would definitely be having sex that is neither safe nor sane and only borderline consensual HOWEVER otacon and snavid would be thoroughly negotiating kinks before during and after sex like theyre doing mission briefings on a codec call

modern medicine has a lot of people forgetting how easy it is to die

i’m on that weird shit. i’m jacking odd. disturbating. creeping my meat

it's called a museum because me 'n' u see 'em

vegan nine inch nails: i want to fuck you like a tofu block