Yeah i went on this date with this guy and he was really weird about being bisexual? Like he started talking about jerking off to twinks in panties—as though I've never fujo'd the fuck out before—but I was just sitting there stunned: we're in the middle of a coffee shop and I don't think Dolores, age 67, wants to hear about the theater kid—sorry theater "barely-legal"—you're popping a boner to. So I told him to tone it down and then he tried to name drop John Waters as though he's some esoteric figure. He said (out loud!) "I bet you don't know who that is." I ended up going to the bathroom to brainstorm some excuses for bailing with the groupchat, but when I came back I heard him muttering some weird Trump impression to himself. He kept saying "She's hetero Jessica folks!"

well somehow I never thought I would develop a full bust and full hips in my life after always being lanky . I am stretching out my Walmart pajama pants with my ass rn. And I’m tearing holes in the armpit section from my boobs. it’s like I’ve been forced in to a hentai expansion cartoon

Why can’t I leave.

Do NOT fucking go in the bathroom

what we really need is a male moanliness epidemic am i right folks

Books are rapidly becoming fast fashion for the most annoying girls in the world, and it is your part to make fun of them. If someone approaches you talking about books, and they hold up some romanceslop paperback about matcha cafes, you should shoot them in the face. Do not stand for the continued death of literature, force them to read a book with some substance to it. The only way we crawl out of the hole dug by more annoying people who have made reading literature a quirky hobby versus a mainstay entertainment medium is by reintroducing people to literature, in the same way the Department of Natural Resources will drop fish into a lake. Kill all of the "Asian Carp" (booktok slop) and replace it with 5 bazillion shitty 1970's paperbacks. Sure you might scare someone by opening up a conversation with J. G. Ballard, but it's a necessary evil in this time where someone might hand you an AO3 fanfic with a book jacket and tell you its "literature".