I’m Just A Little Bit Caught In The Middle

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

sex with someone who does not and will never love you and who you have no obligation to love in turn one of humanity's greatest triumphs and i'm not joking. can you imagine how dire it would be if we didn't have this.

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

i know most leftists agree that everybody should have a right to food, water, shelter, and healthcare but i think a vitally important fifth pillar is privacy. people should not be compelled to be tracked, monitored, or to share personal space with others to access their other essential rights

"If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear" is and always has been fascist rhetoric everyone.

I love that opera sits in this limbo where it's extremely well-known but not really beyond a surface level recognition, so you get commercials for makeup or whatever to the tune of the I Hate Women So Much It's Unreal aria

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently

THATS THE BITCH

YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL

I'd be down with more "modern witches" if they were less all about indigenous cultural appropriation and more about bubbling cauldrons and cackling into the night

"I want to reconnect with my precolonial european pagan roots" then stop selling dreamcatchers on etsy, you should be eating turnips and yodeling.

i exfoliated so crazy style today that if anyone tries to catch me i'll be like a sea cucumber btw

reading ppl's responses to this i'm realizing that while many people know sea cucumbers can expel internal organs to evade predators (not what i meant), far fewer people on this site anyway have had to pick up and move sea cucumbers around. fair. they're slippery was my point.

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

Idk why friends with benefits is such a big deal to people. It’s literally so normal for you and a bro to be alone together with ur heads held really close bc your watching music videos on his phone. and every so often your cheeks brush up against one another but neither of you are seemingly repulsed or pull back. until your actually pressing your faces together culminating in one of u kissing the other. And at that point with how pretty and full both of your lips are you just have to help each other cum! It’s literally human nature..

We have each other blocked now 🧍🏾

"my great grandmother who survived 3 wars and raised 10 children by herself while working in a factory watching me go to therapy because my parents yelled at me" ok but your great grandmother was also miserable. maybe your great grandmother would be happy you try your best to not be miserable

like have you considered your ancestors wouldve wished to see you be less miserable than them

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks