Fiona

me: *makes my wife homemade bread for breakfast and serves it to her on the plate i spun in pottery class last week topped with fresh strawberry jam i just made from the strawberries i grew in our garden*

If this ain’t me

Carly Simon writing You’re So Vain about such a specific man, yet including the line “you probably think this song is about you” so that if he took it personally he would prove her point? Unparalleled power move

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

capybaras are friend shaped

I love this post

mom shaped

This is the ideal nurturing animal. You may not like it, but this is what peak social reproductive labor looks like.

what is it about being on a plane that makes people go buckwild for ginger ale literally everyone be ordering it

tummy hurt

free sody

no offense but the us military is the biggest terrorist organization in the world

u have to sit on some soft grass or, a mattress in the sun sometimes to give your shadow a soft place to rest. she’s always on that pavement.. cement.. floorboards.. it’s not good for her

a deer

This post gives me anxiety

i absolutely hate this. have a terrible day