lost in the d20 sauce

look i WISH more horror movies were just the directors thinly disguised fetish. instead we got all these horror movies that are just undisguised reflections of culturally hegemonic values and anxieties. like if we got some weird fetishes up in here it would probably add some variety thats all im saying.

i think cars should be alive like animals and they should choose their companion instead of the other way around. and it should be a matter of mutual respect and trust as you will trust that the big heavy metal beast will not kill you and the car trusts that you will guide it safely. it should be like how to train your dragon or something. i think this will solve the issue of careless SUV drivers.

"oh what if i get choosen by a stupid ugly car when i wanted something cool" there are hundreds of childrens coming of age movies about being assigned a role or a something and the protagonist hating it until they go on an adventure and learn to appreciate that which they have. it happened to tinkerbell and its going to happen to you when you go on your epic emotional adventure with your fiat multipla.

on the eve of gaining your licence your car will find you. we dont know how they can sense this but they do. it doesnt matter if you get your licence at 17 or 57 your carpanion (car companion) will find you and you must accept them as you are now intrinsically connected to one another and gain a full in-depth understanding of the vehicle. the car will sometimes reflect your own traits. sometimes it will contrast them. but either way you work together as one. its like the average horse girl fantasy but translated to horsepower.

What if your carpanion is like a twongi but you're american, how would your twongi find you

[image description: 11 photos of various cats trying their hardest to steal a bite of human foods, while their humans hold them back by grabbing their heads, causing them to have funny stretched faces and bug eyes.]

so-called "free thinkers" when Gasolina comes on

for about a month in the early 2010s people used to say things like climate change is real and gay people deserve rights. does anyone remember this

remember when Laverne Cox was on magazine covers and people were talking about the "transgender tipping point" and we were actually hopeful for about a week

something you learn fast and necessarily when you get into the habit of writing is that you are riddled with blind assumptions, prejudices, unpractised rhetoric and all kinds of unchallenged cicada shell thoughts that were left stuck to your mode of being when bad ideas fled you. most people get to move through the world behind a kind of modesty veil that divides their internal thoughts from their external observations, but you have to take that off when you write. you have to suddenly present the whole world to itself nakedly, without the kindness of someone who can stop you mid-sentence and say "hold on, I know you, you can't possibly mean that". people are often scared to show their work to an editor in case the editor points out what they look like without their modesty veil, but god, christ, hell and heaven, you have to be more afraid of what the whole world of strangers will see if you don't let someone pick the cicada shells off you first.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

guess my favorite rene descartes quote

who give a shit.