SHAKE RATTLE & ROLL

Car getting worked on and some important fixes happening but the major issue requires another grand plus maybe many more once it’s properly diagnosed, so may be a sell/trade get a new car situation - lots of anxiety around this!!

My day off yesterday was spent at work bc the car guy is on the block and he said to bring it in the morning and he’d get me a loaner but it ended up taking all day so I was there instead of doing what I needed to do at home/relaxing and I wanted to cry soooo bad. “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” Plus side I logged some hours and he’s letting me drive his car for free so I can’t really be mad.

But also I just feel like a pouty brat and I want someone to put the fucking clean duvet on and go to the store to grab Dijon and mayo and a lemon for me so I can make tuna salad for dinner bc I’ve been eating like shit the last few days and feel so fat and I’m tired and feel depleted and work is a lot all this month and I always have to do everything for myself!! And I left my lunch on the counter this morning so all that was wasted and then I took the work van home tonight bc I’m picking up plants tomorrow in the east bay and it was on fucking empty so I swung back around to the studio but of course the credit card wasn’t there so I had to drop 50 bucks to put like 5 gallons in and jesus gas prices just feel so demoralizing right now

And maybe I want to move to the city later this year bc I commute an hour each way everyday and the public transit options would take double that which is so dumb and I’ve never worked in the city I live in which I know is most peoples situation and I live in a beautiful place where I can have a lil veggie garden in the side yard and a roommate who is basically here like four weeks a year but potentially not going to keep the arrangement and maybe I need to make a decision based on my own desires not involving anyone else. But also I would inevitably have less space for more money and I don’t want random roommates and it just feels overwhelming to think about, and now I have two cats lol. And I need a fucking haircut!!