jj

no one is asking for this but i have to make my one million hours on ao3 mean something

the texture of memory: to write a silly blurb would do it a disservice i think, but just read it i am so serious, completed

your presence has gone through me (like needle through a thread): ilya gets a family and i cry one million tears of joy, wip

the anatomy of a bird heart in slow decay: an impossible love story and meditation on grief, mothers and sons, and survival. featuring ghosts in the literal sense. completed

fall in love again and again: the classic tuna-melt groundhog day, with a house of leaves flavour, completed

Jessica: teenaged shane as seen through his relationship with his high school girlfriend, i love them both so unbearably much, completed

home economics: nhl lockout leads to hollanov living together in the situationship era-there's no way this could go wrong! completed

Route 96 Kanata: shane suffers a career ending injury before meeting ilya but where there's a will there's a tortured hollanov situationship nonetheless. full of fantastic ottawan idiosyncrasies. wip

World on Your Shoulders: what if shane had a queer rookie while deep in the midst of his internalized homophobia "i'm not gay" era? fascinating and wonderfully pessimistic characterization, this whole series is a dark comedy that i want to swallow whole, completed

wunderkind: breathtaking look into yuna hollander's inner world but everyone really shines through wonderfully here (ilya my heart i love you so much), completed

I have only two emotions (careful fear and dead devotion): shane disappears from hockey post prospect cup and hollanov meets again much farther down the road, gorgeous tender slow burn, wip

we'll make a home on the cracks: journalist shane fights his way out of an ethics torment nexus and finds true love <3 cute hollanov & fun shane characterization, wip

car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6: hollanov character study, power and love, i adore those freaks so much <3, completed

frequently, secretly fond of each other: boston! shane, you know it you love it, wip

some pacific wind: the pains of being asian in a nearly all-white sport and having to communicate to the world exclusively in your second language: a hollanov conversation, completed

side note: all of satorussuguru's heated rivalry fics are fantastic and are on here in spirit if not in actual text

It had to be you, Wonderful you: transmasc ilya you are soooo dear to me, completed

Offside: coach/player forbidden hollanov but it's sweeter than you would expect. wip

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago: climbing inside your soulmates body is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to have (ft. painful but warming version of shane's life post. career ending injury), wip

dark out and still thirty degrees: one of the only a/b/o fics i've ever enjoyed (sorry), dives into the misogyny in the bones of the genre in a way that's very cathartic for me. ft. a fascinating trans shane journey. completed

head and body to you: tortured self-destructive shane character study, toxic? situationship hollanov, canon-typical emotion development through the lens of sex, completed

the soviet montage: obviously already popular but i had to, cold-war era hollanov post. ilya's defection from the soviet union, completed

i've been waiting my whole life to know i wanted you: deep dive into shane's militant self denial that also fleshes out a much more culturally-connected japanese-canadian experience for him. #lifegetsbetter(eventually), completed

pronoms possessifs: shane writes a love letter, just wonderful completed

Home Ice Advantage: another boston! shane but diving more deeply into how being traded would impact the hockey of it all, very perfectionism torment nexus, completed (with wip sequel)

Blizost: what if you could climb inside your lover and share one body between two souls?, wip

Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy: shane hollander's journey if the whole time he was also haunted by his situationship's dead mom, fantastic irina characterization, completed

cracked plexiglass: canon rewrite that fleshes out a version of shane's pre-NHL hockey career that's more realistic to the actual environment of high level Canadian juniors, very very good, wip

i know where to draw the line: older captain shane and younger teammate ilya, super cute, completed

Overlay: very well written, read the authors note in the beginning before starting, completed

one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid): it's GivingAlexeiDimensionality2026 !! such a gut punch to read as an older sibling, completed

Plexiglass Box: what if hollanov met as teens in Moscow? (ilya x coach's son but it was shane the whole time), Excellent tension, completed (sequel incoming hopefully)

but what if I need you in my darkest hour? : our favorite hockey players plane crash Bad on the way to 2017 All Stars, painful in all the ways, completed

always, sun: canon,,,,,,,divergence?? magical realism, gorgeous and vaguely terrifying, completed

I. ONE LITTLE GOD FALLING OVER ANOTHER: the last year in boston, has hardly begun but the mixed media format is so good and the tension is so thick,,,,,pit in my stomach as i eagerly await the rest, wip

nothing makes me feel as good: shane character study through jj's eyes, god im so obsessed with this crazy crazy man, completed

Hello From Moscow, Goodbye from Montreal: canon divergence circa 2012 where ilya calls shane drunk one night, and keeps calling after that, equally funny and devastating, wip

there are like millions more that i will add once i remember them