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@fifth-dimensional
and at some point they all ride motorcycles

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Cover Art for The Goblin Emperor by Sarah Monette/Katherine Addison
The Goblin Emperor ("TGE") is a novel that released on April 1, 2014 by Sarah Monette under her pseudonym, Katherine Addison (because publishers suck), and it is the first in the series, The Chronicles of Osreth, which currently contains TGE, The Cemeteries of Amalo (a completed trilogy of novellas), two short stories, and a stand-alone novella, The Orb of Cairado. There is a lot of cover art floating around for these books, but particularly TGE, which has seemingly been translated into seven languages, and has two different English releases (one for the US and one for the UK). This post will only be focusing on art for TGE, which includes (for the purposes of this post) 14 covers (yes, I know 7 + 2 = 9, but the Hungarian release didn't get new art, the Japanese release is two volumes with different art for both books, there's a second edition version of the US release, as well as a later special edition cover by Tom Canty, and there's also a plagiarized audiobook cover from Tantor Media). And it gets more complicated from there.
It's also good to remember that generally the publisher handles cover art and translation stuff, not the author (unless they're self-publishing). Authors can get more involved, it's just variable.
This is the first edition cover for the novel, from April 1, 2014, with art by Anna and Elena Balbusso Twins:
Have you watched/read project hail mary yet? I think you'd love it. If you have mayhe a little doodle about that
if not... Usopp
I have not watched or read it but I have been on the internet in the last two months so I believe I got the jist
So the thing is, I do ship maia and csevet, but like, in a really stupid abstracted way... nothing ever happens, literally nothing, they're just Like That for fifty years and then at maia's elaborate imperial funeral one of his adult children dabs genteelly under their mourning veil, sniffs, and says 'hey so, what the fuck was the deal with csevet'
Does fandom have a clever name for Maia/Csevet? It seems like the sort of thing that should have a clever name.

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His Imperial Serenity Edrehasivar VII.
have YOU ever been halfway through the goblin emperor and shouted 'WHO THE FUCK IS LANTHEVAL??!?!?' in utter despair? well despair no longer, for my decidedly mediocre canva skills and tumblr's annoying image compressing are here for YOU <3
NB: this is just meant to help comprehension while reading. don't use as replacement for excellent wiki or glossary in book. is uncomprehensive and ao3 user astardanced is not famed for the consistency of her grammar understanding
Yeah
on duty
your local anxious president and the overqualified usps guy

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the goblin emperor is such a book. Opens with a mock academic text giving you a bunch of terms to remember. you’re line okay this is a fantasy novel with Terms. not uncommon. fantasy and sci fi novels like to flesh out their alien worlds by inventing whole slangs and made up words that work diagetically within context. and this book It’s seemingly got a whole grammar system and detailed worldbuilding which is cool and you’re prepared for the Terms. and then BAM fucking cold open the emperors dead and the main characters speak in archaic English okay wait what the fuck is an elf or goblin in this context actually and then as soon as all that percolates it proceeds to bludgeon you upside the fucking head with an entire grammar system made up around adding an entire formal pronoun to the English language. Fuck you . and so not only are you like Hey what’s a goblin you’re also being absolutely dumped with an onslaught of Terms that mean nothing to you AND all the characters are speaking in THE ROYAL WE the entire time AND no breaks baby the political intrigue starts NOW!! and this is done with such razor sharp precision that every moment a character slips into informal I/thou it is HUGELY noticeable and significant. By the end of the book you are GASPING when the informal I/thou gets whipped out. the book is literally forcing your attention and entrenching you in its world by making its world deliberately opaque. To understand the word of tge you have to be studying it as you read, to be paying attention and absorbing context and enjoying doing so. it won’t spoon feed you and that’s the point. Your understanding of it is so hard fought that it makes you feel pretty proud of yourself once you get the hang of it. As a result you feel that much more attached to its world; its world feels that much more lived in. A delightfully effective tactic and toolset I’m obsessed with it
Csethiro about to fight a duel for Maia
Not sure where the original meme is from, but here is a link to a template of it
#add maybe .01 thickness for maia for all the lines where people glance at the gun then do their best to act like they didnt
@vvillowenna you are so right
the goblin emperor dashboard simulator
✉️ couriersdaily
✉️ couriersdaily
tags roundup:
#diversity win??? #woahhh I forgot about him #this is how I found out. I hate it here #this is the end of the ethuveraz and a disgrace to his late serenity's memory #woaw #ENJOY BEING A BARIZHAN COLONY THOU ELVISH BASTARDS #prev: well no bc it's not like the great avar gaf about him either #who the fuck is archduke maia??? #aww he's only 18 :( #is he the one everyone says is crazy.....? #this is like a wonder tale talk about a comeback #this is a disaster #COOL #ok I guess #EMPRESS CHENELO AVENGED‼️ #dost thou think we can pray in the bariheise style now #I have never heard of this man before in my life
101,432 notes
😎 aveyyyyio
Edrehasivar better than me coz if I'd been in relegation my whole life in genteel poverty with some random and my whole family hated me or didn't gaf about me and I never got formally presented at court and everyone said I was mad or inbred I would have ascended to the throne and started killing everyone responsible
❤️ silmaroperas
op I see thine point but most of the people responsible are very much now dead. like that literally is how we got here
342 notes
Anonymous said:
Prince Idra is the rightful Emperor
⚰️ witnessforthedeadfandoms answered:
Oh so thou'rt massive on child cruelty and the death of child emperors??? that's what thou'rt saying?? thou wants Prince Idra to be a child emperor and then be murdered by a power hungry regent?? wowwwwwwww #problematic
903 notes
Anonymous said:
suspicious that the Emperor and his other sons ALL got taken out at once, leaving the throne clear for Archduke Maia, no?? Like it's.... Convenient. Wouldn't you say
⚰️ witnessforthedeadfandoms answered:
Not really no
#thou didst all jump like fleas to the next conspiracy I see 🙄
342 notes
⚔️ valmatasreturn reblogged courtpollsandbrackets follow
who should be chosen as edrehasivar vii's empress
paru tethimin
csethiro ceredin
loran duchenin
(propaganda under the cut)
Read More
#so is this how the corazhas make decisions now or??? #anyway. CSETHIRO SWEEP
5439 notes
🤲🏻 honourofcsethio follow
tbh we think everyone saying that edrehasivar is going to be a disaster of an emperor is being really fatalistic... like YEAH he looks like a panic attack had a wish granted to be a real boy but we think he can do some real good :(
🕰️ likeclockwork
lol sorry but that skinny kid would have to bridge the istandaärtha to win my confidence
🕰️ likeclockwork
BY ANMURA
2109 notes
❗imperialcourtnews
🚨| As agreed by the Corazhas this morning, Dach'osmin Csethiro Ceredin is engaged to the Emperor Edrehasivar VII and will become Empress Csethiro, Ethuverazid Zhasan
#edit: please stop tagging this 'can Edrehasivar fight' someone's gonna construe it as a threat on the Emperor's life and things have been tense enough lately #second edit: WE GET IT, A LOT OF THEE HAD A CRUSH ON HER AT LEAST THOU DOST GET TO SEE HER ALL THE TIME NOW
10,546 notes
🎶 operasdaily follow
Opera of the Day: The Autumn Archduke is an old warhorse by Ebrezhanar. It concerns the sudden ascension to the throne of the Archduke Aizhevea (later Edrethelema III) after the tragic deaths of his father, older brother, and his sister's son in a fire at the imperial palace. It maps the early years of his reign, including how the incident partially inspired his designs for the new structure of the Untheileneise Court. It was popularly performed in Lohaiso ten years ago, but has not been significantly revived since this period.
👁️ akhalarnaseyeball
this happened to my buddy Edrehasivar Zhas
296 notes
🪻lazinessoftanvero
scream apparently in the flop coup they tried to send the emperor to be a votary of csethio??? this just in, 'get thee to a nunnery' is NOT just for noblewomen #equality
🪻lazinessoftanvero
reading through the whole report on the attempt now and losing my shit... skill issue of the highest level imagine thy coup fails because thy 14 year old prince and 18 year old emperor unionise against thee and thou cannot do shit because teenager 1 and teenager 2 are the two most powerful men in the court... biggest cringefail coup of all time
#say the prayer of compassion for the dead for chavar and sheveän's egos because they won't survive this
431 notes
😎 aveyyyyio
anyone else think the couriersdaily account is kinda being really excessively hype about eshevis tethimar getting killed in that assassination attempt. like... real, but also. diva... the attempt on the emperor's life......
#though I presume if they're shitposting the emperor is probably fine #given couriersdaily is almost certainly run by... Thou Knowest... #maybe it's like a diary for them #all the shit you can't say on the day job mer ai-- I mean couriersdaily?
389 notes
😎 aveyyyio reblogged couriersdaily
⚜️ odris84-blog follow
this is so fucking disrespectful... we don't know what we expected from baseborn couriers like thee but eshevis tethimar was a respected member of the tethimada whatever he ALLEGEDLY tried to do to the emperor. now he's in ulis's hands so thou shouldst really at least TRY to have some dignity and compassion
✉️ couriersdaily
#see???? #btw don't open the notes it's the archipelagar wars in there
10,431 notes
🫀 zhelsu-no34
Othala Celehar: h-
Me:
#prelate of ulis... a good one... looks good in the coat of office...
52 notes
🗣️ untheileneisecourtconfessions
went on a date with some random osmer and he admitted to having some tiny part in the tethimadeise conspiracy to try and impress me and idk if he was lying or not but he was pissing me off so I called the untheileneise guard on him and ate his dessert once they hauled him off lol
#plus I go to salons with the zhasan sometimes #and I think she would have snapped my head off my neck if she'd found out he said that and I did nothing
785 notes
🌽 orshansmazei reblogged amalomemes
#he comes into the sanctuary I work at and walks around in circles sometimes #he looks haggard too. poor thing 😭 #I know someone at the laundresses who is convinced he only has one coat
344 notes
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."

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whatever go my little rainbow weird kid rock
There's this really obscure forgotten DC hero named the Heckler, who's basically buggs bunny as a superhero, not having any powers or physically strong, but just really good at pissing people off until they accidentally deal with themselves.
Now they're interesting, but the REAL star of the show is one of his villains, John Doe the Generic Man, who's this guy in a stark white suit with flat pink unshaded, untextured skin with no features or anything who talks like chatGPT and has black text over his face that explains what he's feeling at the moment. That guy is fucking fascinating.