stinky lizard

maybe i can gaslight myself into being okay

wait this is just cognitive behavioral therapy

jazz is so good. have you guysheard of this shit theres tumpet

ohmygod this is so embarrassing but i accidentally trapped your lich girlfriend in an umbrella. yeah no it’ll be awhile. yeah i erased all memory of her. sorry

it's actually insane paid sick leave is controversial in the US. it's not just out of touch rich people either. there are minimum wage workers literally negatively impacted by lack of labor laws in the US that just think their suffering is necessary and everyone else is a pussy. the whole work culture here is toxic. I want to explode at work every day

i will tell anyone who listens about how besides being a loose adaptation of the illiad, the spongebob squarepants movie is about coming out

replace every mention of “being a kid” or “being a goofy goober” with “being gay” and the spongebob sqaurepants movie is about a young gay man who is denied a promotion by his homophobic boss, gets drunk at a gay bar with his friend the night after and comes to work absolutely sauced, then goes on a journey to try to deny his true nature complete with scenes where he and his friend try to fit in at a masculine gay-bashing biker bar, he grows fake facial hair (a “beard”?) and attempts to perform hypermasculinity unsuccessfully, just before he and his friend are captured and die they come out to each other and they cry a tear in the shape of a heart which saves their lives and ride back in victory on the back of david hassellhoff’s butt and then have a glam rock musical number where they radically celebrate themselves and at this point i’m not even making changes to the metaphors here that’s just what happens literally in the movie spongebob is gay

ngl didn't realize this was unfinished at first and thought this was just a really weird shitpost

my bad for assuming everyone has critical thinking skills btw

The worst thing in the entire world is when you’re sweeping a big pile of dirt into a dustpan and it leaves that little coke line of grit behind. No matter how you position your pan or your broom and no matter how many times you sweep over it your outcome cannot change. As immovable as fate. I hate it so