because everyday isn't as bad as you make it out to be

I love chris and z so much, they’re the most platonic guy friends that i have in my life and i am so happy and grateful for it

- finished like 2 stuff at work in one day - cake rubbing himself on my hand - shingyee messaging me if I was ok - illya putting my pills aside and telling me that I'd taken enough for the day already - everyone in my workplace noticing that something was off with me today, so when young boi showed up and I said yes to him coming along, my boss immediately said stuff like "the 2 of you not allowed to go home alone, I'll send you home with shingyee " and "do you need us to chase him away or not" and "what do you want?" Like they didn't just care about me, they respected my opinion and what i wanted to do - illya getting excited about young boi's Brother in the taxi. Turns out hes a big shot in the music industry - dinner at illya's - food so good, company so rubbish. Everyone low/high key teasing me about young boi. Wanling winking at me the whole time. Illya telling us to get a room - talked to the kopi guy and he gave advice on drawing! - illya's singing and original music, sweet lord - young boi's voice when he sings tho. He made up a song for me impromptu. I probably blushed. - illya giving us packets. I wanted to cry. I hugged her for a very long time after. - protective shingyee and boss. No chance for young boy HAHA - Joey messaging me after to ask about stuff. Her saying that everyone hecks up. Tells me about herself. I feel... comforted in this vulnerability. - I love my company so so much. I am so blessed to be here at this point of time.

Where to start - woke up early to do make up - think I’m getting better at it! Also played with a lot of new make up today, fun stuff. Thought I looked good without snapchat filter. Rare times - the book I’m reading finally getting to a REALLY interesting part 👀 - boss back in office! Nice feelings - pepper lunch for lunch - getting to do the illustration design for the upcoming event - the postcards I designed arrived!!! - ernz came to the book store and I was happy to see his face and hug him - dinner was so so good - met one of my fave sg lit authors - aaaaaaa I have such a big crush she’s not only good she’s so cool and fun and she hugged me and I see cuts on her arms and I hope she is okay and she gave me a signature!!! And we joked a lot and I love her!!!!!! So much!!!!! I want to protect her!!! I hope she gets protected! - went late for Jaye’s birthday party. Was panicky but the second I stepped in - people greeted me so friendly-ly. People I didn’t really talk to but knew, they hugged me and I was so so so touched. - at first I thought dead skin walked out the room when I came in - but turns out he wasn’t ignoring me, when he came it was cool and we did awkward dancing and the rest of my night was just bickering with him, it was so so fun and he made me so comfortable and more relaxed and less awkward and I was so happy and I wished I talked more like this with him earlier on, more comfortably, more openly, more freely. Its fun and I love it. - because I drank baileys (whoop) I was very Low filter and mildly high, so interacting with everyone was GOOD. I was not awkward. I braided people’s hair, I flirted with everyone in my vicinity, I sang, made everyone dance and do a group-hug-dance. It was so so good. I got to catch up on so many people and ebb is such a darling and berlin got me cake and beal is lovely and I love them!! - $5 cab ride back because split fare. Taking with salmon is cool because he’s a quiet guy type who fits in with the kind of people that’s easy for me to click with, and I got to catch up on dead skin’s life. - Its good to know that he’s doing well. I’m happy for him and his gf, and although I felt a tinge of jealousy before, I’m very clear about it - I feel happy that we’re not together and that nothing happened, because he is so happy and he is moving forward and I am moving forward, and in so many ways I recognise that his maturity level differs from me and we function differently; so I’m not jealous anymore and I’m Glad, glad I didn’t start anything with him. - young boi messaging me to arrange a meet up. This guy keep sending mixed signals ah, but I think in the end he just wants advice in a senior-junior way, which is the preferred signal I’d like to get from him.

- colleagues being damn nice and concerned about me being a bit sickish - trying to teach the other designer how to layout Japanese fonts right to left and vertically in indesign - hearing ill talk about music fest ideas. She's really a bright one full of fun ideas. - free Tiong Bahru bakery pastries - talking with bro about enneagrams. I love talking about these personality shit in general a HAHAHAH I'm trash - Wonder Woman movie with fam! Fronts like nope; middle is pretty good, they have an interesting context set up, then end is just shit and ugh please stop being embarrassing

- no boss in the house. I.e., playing retro af songs - cat uncomfortably hanging its head over the edge of my laptop. U ok grl u look so wasted - finding out cheap movie ticket prices thanks to sy (my workplace girl, not syu, life's complicated) - deciding to last minute catch a 940 pm movie with yw. Forcing yw to watch the movie with me LOL - is this what dating a rich guy feels like, he basically paid for everything tonight except black ball, I owe him like $30+ by now - crushing things in supermarkets, finally someone who appreciates my art form - yw opening up to me and telling me about his own problems. I feel bad that I ignore him so much on normal occasions, cause his shit be hecked as well, and he's in a completely different circumstance than I am. The thing with having problems is sometimes people can physically and mentally move away from them. He's in a situation where he can't. - went up to a random stranger to ask for a picture with her so I could lie to my mum that I wasn't staying out with a guy at the moment lol. that was fuCKING awkward but also memorable - gotg2 was pretty amazing. I almost fell asleep at the front because it was so goddamn draggy but it got nice notes of humour and emotional parts written out pretty well. Screaming when the Pac man happened. I laughed harder than I should have. Mary Poppins y'all, and wts rocket wts. I fucking love rocket and yondu and actually, all the characters. God bless - also was I the only person who fucking sat up when he said I'm your daddy like what the fuck was that I'm kink shaming you yondu - slept on yw's shoulder in the cab and slept talked all the way back home and sprouted bullshit words of wisdom which he seemed to be very touched by, so, I guess, its good to be able to help

- breakfast with the fam. sniggering with bro in church and about memes. - being the earliest to reach for a meet up LOL - FRESHLY BAKED BREAD! - ice skating. O BOY. So nerve wrecking but nice to keep going and you start to get used to the motion towards the end of it. I can really see why the tricks are so fun to do, they actually feel more natural and in-line with what the skate was meant to do as compared to my clunky awkward normal skating method. - watching bin and raymon do their skating tricks. Y'all graceful fucks. Honestly so so nice to watch. - the 2 looking out for me even tho I was such a noob on the rink lbr - trash talking all the way. Love. Hanging and talking with them feels damn comfortable, I'm not trying to pretend, and at times I feel like I won't shut up because I have so much I was to say and laugh about and together with them. At one point of time I had to mentally tell myself to cHILL the HECK, calM, doWN. Shhhhh or you'll get annoyinggggg. - bubble tea - good food that everyone helped me finish - I like teasing that the 2 of them have gfs?? Its quite cute tbh. To a certain extent I feel like a Uni senior compared to them HAHA - tbh just talking and being mean and laughing and what not. Lord I'm so tired but it really was so fun today. 0 drama. Pure af. Wish we could have been this way sooner, that I could have been less awkward with bin last time, and that I could have lesser angst/tension with raymon all the time. Either way, I'm happy with how things turned out. Wouldn't change a thing.

- art science museum with klis and z n dar n bebe n ernz - klis being so accommodating. Going out of his way to wait for me. Chatting by me cause I told him I'm low mood. - holding hands with bebe. Dar called me pretty girl. Bebe buying ice cream. Me trying to stuff ernz face with ice cream. Punching ernz to try and cheer him up. - eating food together with them. Z letting me drink his $1.80 bandung. Sharing meals and klis and Bebe didn't know that one whole chicken = wing + drum, klis literally ate one measly drumstick and thought that cost $1.50 altogether omg poor kid - giving z the "thanks for not judging me for my all the time/sometimes bad decision making" card and him saying that it's ok - walking about and talking. Accepting that we're old and can't stay out late anymore HAHA - ernz craving beer - bringing him out for drinking and trying to look after him. Admitting stuff about how I feel about having a personality disorder. - going home, running into sharmz on the train - ernz saying that I have changed him, and how he's learnt to become less controlled now. - I love meeting up with my Uni friends to see how everyone's doing at work. Reminds me that even if we're working, we still can chill with each other. We can still look out for each other.

- klis introducing me to the stairway. the way the individual notes join up together as an after-sound to create a chord is fucking crazy and so church like. so damn spiritual, i get how impressive architecture makes people want to  us doing crazy sick as harmonizing.

- watching food video with maddi

but I don’t hate this.

rubbish talk with reyn. tbh talking to him once brightens my day man. rubbish 11/10.