#reyn

(Lights are circling outside the Smash Stadium. Inside, there is a sign hanging from the ceiling that reads 'Comedy Stadium'.)

Mario: Okay, everybody settle down. Welcome *pauses* to the Comedy Stadium! *puts an arrow on his hat. Everyone laughs* Now please give a warm welcome to our first comic, the indiscernible Reyn!

(Reyn walks onto the stage as Mario walks out.)

Reyn: Good evening, folks. I'm going to skip the jokes and get right to the part where I throw pies at ya! *pulls out a cart of pies. The crowd takes out their umbrellas. Pacman opens the curtain from behind and gets splattered in the face with pie*

Pacman: *laughs* I hope I do as good as that guy.

Reyn: *backstage* Man, those people will laugh at anything. Hey, don't sweat it Pac, I got 'em all warmed up for ya.

Mario: Put your hands together for Pacman! *Pacman walks out with a bow tie on.*

Palutena: Go get 'em, Pacman!

Pit: *sitting at a table with Palutena* Whoo-hoo!

Pacman: Hey, hey, hey ladies and gentlemen, have you ever noticed salt shakers? I mean, you fill them up every night at closing, and I mean, where does it all go? Huh? You know what I mean?

(No one laughs. A cricket is heard chirping. Cut to a live-action clip of a cricket chirping.)

Pacman: And tomatoes -- what's the deal on those things? *chuckles weakly. Crowd is still silent* I mean, you chop them up into slices, but... *cut again to the cricket, this time as a still image.* What are they, vegetables or... fruit? And what does that make-ketchup? *chuckles weakly*

Ike: Oh, brother, this guy stinks!

Leon: Hey, hey, funny guy! I've got a joke for you! What smells rotten and puts people to sleep?

Pacman: Um, noxious gas?

Leon: No! Your act!

(The entire audience laughs.)

Pacman: Did you ever notice how, uhh... *notices a fork on a table* ...forks, uhh...

Ike: Forks?! Come on!

(The crowd is booing at Pacman.)

Pacman: *thinking* Quick, Pacman, make a witty observation!

(Pacman looks around the crowd booing at him for material; even Pit is booing.)

Pit: Boo! Boo!

Pacman: *notices Palutena's necklace* Did you ever notice how...big Goddess' necklace are?

(The crowd chuckles.)

Red: That's true.

Palutena: Huh?

Pacman: I mean, hey, you could land a plane on those things!

(The crowd laughs more.)

Pacman: And what's up with that long green hair? I guess they need hair care, too!

(The crowd laughs loud.)

Pit: *laughing* Goddess hair! *Palutena grins nervously*

Pacman: And they smell! But hey, you'd stink too if you spent a day beating up bad guys and opponents.

(Palutena laughs uneasily. The crowd laughs.)

Pacman: *laughs* Hey, why does it take more than one Goddess to change a light bulb?

Ike: Why?

Pacman: Because, they're so darn stupid! *raises his right hand to punctuate the punchline of the joke*

(The crowd laughs.)

Pit: *laughs loudly* Oh, that's a good one, eh, Lady Palutena?

Palutena: *chuckles nervously* Uh, uh, yeah...

(The crowd cheers loudly and chants as Pacman walks behind the curtain where Mario is waiting for him.)

Mario: That was fantastic, Pac! You really knocked 'em out! I think I'll do this joke night again with you as the headliner!

Pacman: I never thought I could be a headliner! Whatever that is.

Mario: The headliner's the one who cleans up after the show. *Hands Pacman a mop*

Pacman: Well, at least I don't have to clean up my act! *rimshot is played as he laughs*

Mario: Stick with the goddess jokes, Pac. Now get busy! *walks off*

Pacman: Mops, mops, mops, what's up with those things? I mean, really. *walks up to Palutena* Oh, hey, Palutena!

Palutena: Hi, Pacman.

Pacman: Did you like the show?

Palutena: Well, ac-actually, Pacman.....no. Those jokes are hurtful and you know it.

Pacman: *nudges Palutena with his elbow* Come on, Palutena, I was just joking. I mean, everybody knows that you're the best goddess in Smashville.

Palutena: Well, I can't argue with that.

Pacman: We all gotta laugh at ourselves once in a while. I do it all the time! *holds up a mirror and laughs excessively into it, puts the mirror down and holds the mirror back up, laughing hysterically into it, cutting Palutena off just as she tries to speak*

Palutena: *chuckles* You're right, Pacman. I was being a little too sensitive. *both hug* No hard feelings.