Welcome to my brain

Pain scale? More like pain in the booty. No two people seem to read it the same way, and chronic folks tend to downplay their pain.

So here’s an idea: when asked to rate your pain, provide a number to rate your distress levels in addition to your pain levels.

Some examples:

“I’m at a 5 on the pain scale, but my distress is basically a 1 because this is my usual.”

“I’m at a 3 on the pain scale, but my distress is a 7 because this is new pain and affects a part of my body that’s very important to my work.”

How did you know you were nonbinary?

Hi nonnie :)

There wasn’t an “aha” moment where I just knew. It was kind of a “fuck it” moment actually. I had always thought gender was stupid. It’s this made-up thing with arbitrary rules, and even though it works for some people (which is great) it’s never worked for me. It always felt like a box I could never fit into properly or like a too-tight shirt. So I’d been questioning it for a while before I just decided to go with it.

I think my last straw was the dysphoria I felt about my body. I gained some weight and being afab that meant my boobs got bigger too, which threw me for a complete loop. My chest started really bothering me and I kept wishing to be completely flat.

So then I just decided “fuck it” and I broached the subject with one of my friends who I knew would be supportive, told her I thought I was nonbinary, she was awesome and helped me get a binder.

I experimented with different pronouns too before settling on they/them.

The thing is, like with sexual orientation, if you’re questioning it then it’s probably because you are queer in some way. And just like with sexual orientation, gender is a spectrum. Deciding on a label doesn’t mean you have to stick with that label if you discover that it doesn’t fit anymore and something else works better. There are a TON of gender identities within the nonbinary umbrella so maybe you’ll find a micro label that fits. I thought I was a demigirl before I realized that I’m agender, but I still use nonbinary to identify myself with most people.

Drew this is biology

Give me more flags to draw

It might just be me, but the correct word should be 'imagination', or 'independence'. A woman isn't EQUAL to a man, and shouldn't try to be. Now, before you guys are on my ass, I'm obviously not saying that women don't deserve equal RIGHTS AND SOCIETAL TREATMENT, but 'men' shouldn't be the settling point, because every gender is a different role (or 'performance', like that @just-gay-thoughts post).

Your 'gender role' is defined entirely by you, not 'men', because that in and of itself is a sexist statement - ironically, to everyone.

A woman, or an enbie, or a man, or any other gender identity, that is attempting to be EQUAL to any other one isn't just lacking ambition, but confidence in their own identity.

Be yourself - that's the best thing you could possibly be.

Along a very similar line is this post of mine:

My post-surgery bras arrived today. Here's one of them on top of my current sports bra.

I feel u 😭😭I was scared at first too but it literally went by so fast & the pain isn’t too bad. Just annoying. My doctors were very sweet and informative so I believe I was prepared for it. But I can tell you some things ahead of time if u ever get it ! Just a heads up tho not all doctors do it the same in terms of treatment. Mine didn’t wrap my chest afterwards (hes against dressing the breasts) and he doesn’t believe it’s necessary to give his patients drains/pumps to remove fluid for his procedures. So I’m basically just dealing with the pain and have gauzes taped to where some occasional blood leaks from

Gonna b a bit long so sorry abt that!

Here’s some tips/heads ups:

Ok I didn’t know this but 🤣 you will have to get naked and just stand there awkwardly (your gown is probs draped around your waist) while your doctor draws on your breasts with a sharpie. It lasts a good fifteen mins but it felt like an hour. At least some female nurses will be in there w/ you if your doctor is a man. So mentally prepare for that bc YES it’s very awkward 1/10 😭

You can’t eat at midnight before the surgery and you can’t eat the next day either before the surgery. This includes water - cant drink anything either, but they’ll most likely give you pills to take for that night and morning

You’ll have to give them a sample of your urine before surgery.

Surgery lasts like 2-3 hours. you’ll be awake in no time but you’ll be drowsy ofc. Might be talking nonsense as well lol but you will remember nothing

Buy button down gowns - plenty of cheap ones at Walmart. Waaay easier for you & raising your arms is an absolute no. No shirts unless they have buttons in the front (all the way down) and can be easily slid off. Can’t stress this enough: do not raise your arms

Buy wedged/reclined pillows and stack some regular pillows on top of it! You’ll have to sleep on your back so it’s important you are elevated + for your breathing. & trust me lmfao don’t try to sleep on your side. You will be doing a LOT of sleeping tho & get drained pretty quickly.

Don’t try and pick up anything you dropped. Get someone else to do it I promise it’s not worth it! In general do not pick up anything remotely heavy.

No running, jumping, etc. just stick to slow, casual walks. Take your time getting places

Your medicine might cause food to make you feel unbelievably nauseated with just one bite. I’d say invest in some graham crackers on the first day back to snack on if you can’t stomach anything yet

You might vomit depending on the medicine. Keep a vomit bag nearby.

Drink plenty of water + eat plenty vegetables. Some of these medicines cause constipation.

Your breasts might look strange at first but they’re just swollen so don’t worry about that & freak out lol

Your doctor will (most likely) shrink your areola, lift your breast, and possibly move your nipples to even them out.

(Edit) You might not be able to breast feed in the future depending on the procedure, BUT you now have a significantly lower chance of getting breast cancer bc you got the reduction !!

The pain isn’t unbearable. It feels incredibly sore, aches, and might have an occasional sharp sting from movement. You’ll feel this way more when you’re trying to reach for something or maybe adjusting yourself in bed.

Get some wipes and gauzes for any potential leaks. You most likely won’t be able to shower for 48 hours.

Using the bathroom sucks lol

And then it clicked for me: 

I was sent to wilderness therapy almost directly after getting breast reduction surgery. I was out in the woods! 

My breast reduction consultation is scheduled for next week! I'm so excited.

I've been waiting for this for twelve years, since my first consultation at 18 did not go very well since they considered me too young.