Fertile Ground

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True story: guys online are actually complaining that Captain Marvel doesn’t smile in the trailer.

Update: Brie Larson’s response:

You should talk to a doctor about your situation because I think abortion might make your illness worse, since abortion procedure is going against what your body is naturally going through.

Here is a person who has to get an abortion because of medical reasons as well as to ensure she can get the education that she wants. All she wants is moral support, and all she is getting is a guilt trip for not sacrificing her own well-being. And really, really bad medical advice.

Abortion will NOT make your illness any worse than a pregnancy would.

Abortions are natural.

The body naturally aborts fetuses all the time. A medically induced abortion is just as natural as medically induced labor. Premature babies (especially micro preemies) are the body’s natural abortion that modern science is unnaturally saving.

Please, listen to the words that gave you faith, if you subscribe to faith, real faith, then it doesn’t matter what someone else believes, because it is YOUR faith.

As a former catholic (I’m aethesit now) I know that the strict teachings of the church are hard to shake, and that personal relationship with god is often put on the back burner in comparison to the structure, pomp and routine of mass. And it is easy to fall prey to the mob mentality in church, to lose yourself in it, and find yourself quite lost when you don’t fit the mold.

Remember those parts of the Bible that gave you faith. I don’t mean to be glib, but there are so many stories you can use to find your own justification in, its like a choose your own adventure book. Find a story that gives you peace. That you can take a meaning from. That is what everyone else is doing, that is why the church stopped reading in Latin, so that everyone had a chance of hearing gods words and of interpreting them.

Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?

And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run

But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually

Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.

I read a story about this man whose friends kept telling him that he and his wife are missing out on having kids, their whole lives will change for the best if they had a baby, how amazing and fun it is, how they’ve reached enlightenment on what life’s all about.

Fast forward to the moment he and his wife announce they’re having a child: A look of seriousness washes over the same friends’ faces. They completely change their tune. ‘Make the most of being able to sleep, you’ll never have alone time again. You’ll forget what quietness is like, you won’t remember how your previous life felt. It’s tough, it’s imprisoning’.

Trump could just talk the economy, but he has to lie and make up stats.

This is a god economy. It’s not the best. Job numbers are good. They are not the best. GDP is good. It’s not the highest.

How women prepare for first dates

Bonus: How men prepare for first dates:

Wow. WOW. Look at all these sheltered people and their internalized misogyny.

The point isn’t, “NOT ALL MEN ARE OUT TO GET YOU.”

The point is, “WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING A NICE GUY FROM A SERIAL KILLER.”

It’s not like they fucking wear nametags, okay? Moreover, the most awful people with the worst intentions often put on the nicest face or deliberately make themselves seem harmless and likeable, to lull potential victims into a false sense of security. (Read up on Ted Bundy sometime. It’s horrifying shit. Or read any thread on the “Let’s Not Meet” subreddit.)

In order to protect ourselves, we are forced to assume the worst of every man we meet, because statistically speaking, the biggest danger to women…IS MEN. Saying “not all men are out to get you, you’re just being paranoid” is like saying “not every car you ride in is going to crash, so buckling your seatbealt is stupid.”

When dealing with an unknown situation, in the absence of absolute proof of safety, exercising a little extra caution can be the difference between life and death. Shaming women for being what you may view as overly cautious is every bit as horrid as blaming them if something goes wrong later on.

And refusing to go to a secluded location with a complete stranger without letting someone know where you’re going, who you’re with, and how to find you is just common street sense, whether you’re on a date or just going out for business or social purposes.

If your life has been so sheltered (or your coping skills so incredible) that you see no need to distrust strangers or worry about the potential for violence, you should thank your lucky stars.

And you should also be aware that just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.

Lemme say that louder for the people in the back.

Also, it’s story time! I’m pretty certain I saved my mom’s fucking LIFE by convincing her do this on a date with a fucking COP (which she thought was safer than going out with other men, but let me tell you, cops are the WORST partner abusers around, so pls be safe!!!!). 

She had only talked with him online and they were gonna go for a drive somewhere remote for some reason and she wasn’t going to take any precautions at all. I, being a well seasoned internet dater, was terrified by this prospect and warned her about how cops are actually much more dangerous than civilians and that getting in his car and going somewhere remote was even more dangerous. SO, I told her the best thing to do is to take a pic of him, his plates, then send it to me, and make sure you do it all right in front of him SO HE SEES IT. I warned her too that as a cop he should KNOW how dangerous this date would be for her, so if he kicks up a fuss about it AT ALL I told her to run like the fucking wind. 

So when she gets there, he is already in his fucking truck, doesn’t get out to greet her, so she takes the pics of his car, plates, and him and sends it to me and I thank her profusely. Then apparently she gets in his car, sees there’s a fucking BAT in the back, and doesn’t this fucker just kick up a damn fuss about her doing this. AND MY MOM DOESN’T GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!!!! OMFGWLJELWNLWEJFANMDS

So he starts the car and they drive away and she can already tell he’s a fucking creeper. At one point, he even tells her a truly sad story of his life and she reacts sadly and doesn’t this dickhead say “why aren’t you smiling?” as if that’s what women are FOR. She responds “You had just told me a very sad, personal story, smiling didn’t seem appropriate”, as if she’s just there for smile back at him and look pretty!!!! 

She texts me throughout all of this, telling me she’s increasingly getting uncomfortable and scared. He’s becoming increasingly hostile and unpleasant. She eventually texts me to ask me to call her and pretend to be my younger sister that lives with her saying that I’m sick (my mom’s a nurse). But my younger sis is 26, has a baby, is a personal support worker with some medical knowledge; and that didn’t seem like something strong enough to me that would make this dangerous fucker give up my mom. 

So what do I do?

I called her and pretended I was my little sister crying and freaking out because her baby is super sick and she needs her nurse mom at her side bc this is WAY beyond her knowledge or comfort level. Thankfully that worked and he turned around. But he wasn’t happy and that bat was still in the back, staring mom in the goddamn face. 

Later she called me and thanked me profusely and she STILL talks about it and how scary it was and how she is CERTAIN the real reason he turned around was bc I had insisted she send me those pictures.

Not just for women, but for anyone meeting a person for the first time. This kind of danger can exist even in innocuous exchanges of goods, or in applications for jobs/roommates, and any kind of interaction that starts online and leads to an offline meeting between two or more people. The other advice I’d give is never get into a car and never go to a second location - always stay in a public place, always stay in the place you planned to be, and never wander. 

If you arrange to watch a film, and they suddenly want to go home -? Say no. I’ll also apply this to extreme situations, too. If someone has a gun to your head and demands you go with them, still say no. It’s better to be shot then and there than to be dragged to that second location, where he/she has the freedom and time to do whatever they want to you with no one knowing your new location. 

Never go to second locations.