head full, all thoughts

Okay, but a lot of books would be that long if you laid the pages out

the average printed page is 6 inches wide. so if a book is 128 pages, its 64 ft long. I dont think I own a book with fewer than 128 pages.

It's honestly not that impressive at all. Fuck Imhotep and his pathetic short book.

my parents visited today and their latest item of ‘what people you knew in school are up to lately’ gossip was about the absolutely BONKERS thing they’re trying to talk their friend out of doing to her daughter. I’m still in shock tbh

Their friend is helping her daughter’s boyfriend’s mom to throw a 200-guest surprise engagement party for her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. The daughter and the bf are not engaged. Neither of them have even discussed planning to get engaged with their respective mothers. The moms are going to surprise the bf with his late grandmother’s ring at the party and tell him it’s time to propose to his gf. In front of 200 friends and family members. Just an absolute nightmare scenario.

Oh the kicker is that the pretense they’re inviting people under is that it’s a surprise “congrats on passing the bar” party for the bf. A thing he is currently stressing about having to take for the second time and may not pass. So it may turn into a 200-person surprise “sorry you failed to pass the bar for the second time, here’s your grandma’s ring, go propose anyway” party, which is a near-incomprehensible level of public humiliation.

Bf’s mom, whose brainchild this whole thing was, has already rented out an entire waterfront restaurant for the party. In Newport. This is what “more money than sense” looks like in practice.

Since this blew up overnight and people are asking, I managed to track the daughter down on linkedin today (the only social media I could find that we both have, lol) and message her. So she has been warned, and hopefully doesn't take the message poorly.

What the actual fuck.

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

ok so a wild rat just spit poison at me

slay ten of those for my ancient tarnished coin

slay this guy for my ancient tarnished coin

I just want to say, thank you, sensible people of tumblr, for giving this more notes than my other post where idiots were calling gun control racist.

guy after using a teleporter for the first time: oh god, i am... i am a completly different person, created ex nihilo, i am not the guy who stepped into the teleporter, i feel different now, i have a new understanding of myself, more femmenine, maybe ill transition...? operator of the machine: ma'am, this works by way of worm holes