Do you feel it?

“did you bring protection?” “don’t worry babe” *pours salt in a circle around bed*

the first thing you'll learn about me is that I'm a funny guy

the second thing you'll learn about me is that I'm always in some kind of nightmarish torture hell dimension

nothing soothes me like a young man experiencing excruciating pain and distress

it really is annoying as hell how someone will talk about how poor people can't avoid ethically dubious products because of how being poor works and then someone with a two story house in the suburbs will take that to mean they can order harry potter books through a drone delivery from amazon and if you criticize that you're a bigot

Harry potter bad:((( god you westerners are annoying

harry potter is literally racist this is not a westerner thing

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

just crashed my fucking roflcopter

Hey! Wanna fuck? Meet me on MyChart....

We need a big chart where we rank all tumblr users most impactful developmental trauma and illnesses of the mind so we can use it to determine who has senior authority when arguing about anime characters

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum