the horse used the elevator?

Since I can’t post art or a fic, I thought I’d break down my thoughts on cotag love languages and how they kiiiiinda sorta mesh

Obvs gotta preface by saying the model isn’t perfect but it’s really helpful for everyday use and to start a conversation about preferences etc. That important too cause I kinda tweak it around a bit

Protag I see as acts of service and quality time. He likes to be close and he likes to do and feel normal things. He feels really loved when time is taken to prioritize his company or do something to make his life easier. He’s kind of sort of gifts as well, but it sort of combines quality time and acts of service since he’d rather something handmade from someone directly or something practical. Get him a few yards of high quality fabric or make him a new shelf to hang his keys and he’ll feel touched. He’s not into expensive gifts just because they’re expensive (cough). He’s not much for touch or using his words in a direct manner. It’s difficult for him to say “I love you” back

Coworker is by contrast rather physical and direct, liking touch and words in both a receiving and giving way. I personally feel if he’s in a relationship with Protag, although he’s fine either way, he’s often big spoon simply because he initiates and enjoys touch. He’s quite sensual and enjoys the “power” that he feels comes with that. He often uses cringe pet names to get a reaction and because he thinks Protag would be less offended by something a bit ridiculous rather than sincere and sweet. He just enjoys being antagonistic. Is that a love language?

I also see the coworker as enjoying gifts/gift giving, but his manner is more about the price and flashiness of something rather than spending a lot of time thinking of something more practical. Protag in contrast feels guilt when money is used on him.

So their preferences don’t mesh all that well… I also think, with the nature of their relationship, personalities, views of self, and time accurate pressures, there’s a little bit of difficulty for them to acknowledge the other is a man that is comfortable as a man and that they’re in a not-straight relationship. It’s easy for one to feel the other is emasculating the other when it’s often by accident. Protag doing a task for coworker because he thought there was a need is his way of acting out “I love you” while the coworker may see it as “he doesn’t see me as man enough to do it myself” and there’s the inverse of this with Protag and having money spent on him or the coworker desiring him physically. The coworker’s expression of love is often about pushing Pennies for the hubby while the protagonist’s is about time and presence. Money makes the protagonist feel as if he owes something back, like a service or a favor, while quality time/acts of service make the coworker feel he isn’t doing enough and there’s nothing to show the two of them and others that they’re in love. This is why they just kill each other in canon this stuff too convoluted

i made genderbends btw