nokinokinotepad ?

Hello there! My name is Neptuna, Noki, or Dal, & I love to make things! I'm very unfamiliar with tumblr, so please be patient with me and my inevitable learning curve! I go by any pronouns except for it/its & am fine with any gendered/neutral/neo terms & honorifics! I am an adult & college student but NSFW please DNI ; suggestive is okay ! This blog is going to be a place for me to regularly talk about & discuss my projects, especially the written. I'm currently working on a longfic with my bestest friend forever for an Elevator Hitch Modern AU! My main fixations ATM are Bungou Stray Dogs, SIGverse games (Elevator Hitch, Dead Plate, Cold Front, Eloquent Countenance), and Identity V! However, I will mostly be talking about Elevator Hitch and Bungou Stray Dogs!

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Warnings that this blog is 13+ due to occasional graphic depictions of violence, swearing (not from me teehee), and potentially intense psychological/philosophical concepts that may be unsettling for some, IE de-personalization, de-realization, etc.

Thank you so much for reading!! I hope we can have the bestest time together!!

the more I think of it, it all just sort of falls into place, like as a dog meant to work but eventually parting from that.

I think of terms like "nanny dog" for pitbulls and fighting dogs with spiked collars. having a job, if you will. with Micha, there's an attempt to perform his role as more sneaky, but it's obvious he prefers a more forthright and direct presence. he's got a big voice and a barking laugh. he's loyal to a deadly fault to those he loves, but not obedient. He's obedient to Daemon, but not loyal, loyal to those he loves, but not obedient. he's comfortable and secure enough to screw off and not listen, but he'll kill for those he cares about. I think the common fanon depiction of broken chains and bindings is sort of like a set loose abused dog that's found a new family to be accepted by.

Machine Girl's This Is Your Face On Dogs illustrates this super well, I think

the whole song fits well I think, sort of this embrace of the ugly and rejection of the past through that embrace. There's an implication IMO that Daemon has taken parts of Regect and kept them from him, alienating Regect from himself and possibly others, since his appearance is more unusual than before. He's owned, like a dog. He's a tool to be used that can have parts removed as punishment yet still be expected to work, to function

Since I can’t post art or a fic, I thought I’d break down my thoughts on cotag love languages and how they kiiiiinda sorta mesh

Obvs gotta preface by saying the model isn’t perfect but it’s really helpful for everyday use and to start a conversation about preferences etc. That important too cause I kinda tweak it around a bit

Protag I see as acts of service and quality time. He likes to be close and he likes to do and feel normal things. He feels really loved when time is taken to prioritize his company or do something to make his life easier. He’s kind of sort of gifts as well, but it sort of combines quality time and acts of service since he’d rather something handmade from someone directly or something practical. Get him a few yards of high quality fabric or make him a new shelf to hang his keys and he’ll feel touched. He’s not into expensive gifts just because they’re expensive (cough). He’s not much for touch or using his words in a direct manner. It’s difficult for him to say “I love you” back

Coworker is by contrast rather physical and direct, liking touch and words in both a receiving and giving way. I personally feel if he’s in a relationship with Protag, although he’s fine either way, he’s often big spoon simply because he initiates and enjoys touch. He’s quite sensual and enjoys the “power” that he feels comes with that. He often uses cringe pet names to get a reaction and because he thinks Protag would be less offended by something a bit ridiculous rather than sincere and sweet. He just enjoys being antagonistic. Is that a love language?

I also see the coworker as enjoying gifts/gift giving, but his manner is more about the price and flashiness of something rather than spending a lot of time thinking of something more practical. Protag in contrast feels guilt when money is used on him.

So their preferences don’t mesh all that well… I also think, with the nature of their relationship, personalities, views of self, and time accurate pressures, there’s a little bit of difficulty for them to acknowledge the other is a man that is comfortable as a man and that they’re in a not-straight relationship. It’s easy for one to feel the other is emasculating the other when it’s often by accident. Protag doing a task for coworker because he thought there was a need is his way of acting out “I love you” while the coworker may see it as “he doesn’t see me as man enough to do it myself” and there’s the inverse of this with Protag and having money spent on him or the coworker desiring him physically. The coworker’s expression of love is often about pushing Pennies for the hubby while the protagonist’s is about time and presence. Money makes the protagonist feel as if he owes something back, like a service or a favor, while quality time/acts of service make the coworker feel he isn’t doing enough and there’s nothing to show the two of them and others that they’re in love. This is why they just kill each other in canon this stuff too convoluted

Talked a little of this on twt buuuut I thought I’d expand some

As I said, American Psycho can make how I depict coworker be rather rigid when inspiration doesn’t mean mirror/copy. There’s some fluidity to it and the general Vibe matters more than perhaps particulars. It’s also easy to get caught up since I’ve been told the character he’s inspired by is different in every iteration (movie, novel, play, etc) so I’m attempting to make peace with this nonsense.

I’m trying not to fall into the trap of making him too sympathetic or positive when people like this can just be so horrid, but also give a character that’s meant to be a cardboard cutout some extra dimension. He’s not even my character idk why I get so into it /lh but it’s a balance I think a lot on and I think you can see in works like Brackish Vinaigrette where he isn’t the bad or good guy. He’s a friend who has some flawed thinking but cares about his friend. He’s hurting but he’s by no means a saint.

I very much enjoy the spectrum I see of his character where he can be anything from human of flesh and blood to literal projection of the company building as a tool to encourage Protag forward. I love an in between personally but I adore non-human ideas. I love when he’s synthetic and is a product, not a person. Very literal application of capitalist critique metaphors I suppose. I wish I saw it a bit more in things like art and fics. I have a lot of ideas but never the capacity to make anything out of it. On this thought though, a common joke I have with friends that I sort of unironically headcanon is that since he was designed to be a remakeable product, he’s “infertile” and is in a way separated from the rest of humanity in this way. It can fall apart if you choose to lean more into human interpretations of his character, but it’s an interesting thought start.

Go my brothers… not me doing anything but listening in class err

Headcanon yappery but Quick thought I had in the shower; Medkit canonically is pretty skilled/knowledgeable about gear modification as both an engineer and healer so I wonder if Sword’s ever asked for modifications. I think Medkit would do it either cheaper or as a gift say for his spawnday (he sucks at spawnday gifts cause I HC Blackrock doesn’t do much to celebrate them and it’s just not in his nature anyway) but his personal view of modifying gear holds him back. He sees it as changing something he loves already and for his coworkers and himself be doesn’t care but for someone he loves… it’s different. He doesn’t think much of modifying but is confronted with it when he thinks about Sword. He doesn’t quite see it as blasphemous or evil, but he does see a bit of pride and greed in it, not helped by the people he usually is modifying for using it that way

I think in theory he’d love to gift Sword with his skill but actually feels very disturbed about changing something he doesn’t think needs to change