elsa

Everytime you’re alone with Thorin, in the evening next to the fire or in the morning when everyone packs their things while you’re already done (it’s fast when you have nothing), you wonder how you could be more than friend with him. Do dwarves have any rules about dating? One evening, you ask for advice from Fíli and Kíli. Worst decision ever. As soon as you see their smiles, you regret asking them. Between their “why?”, “which?”, or “tell us everything!”, you will never have your answer, and you don’t dare ask anyone else. Maybe Balin could help you, but he already has a lot to do. 

When things start to be serious with Goblin-town, orcs and Eagles, you decide to focus on the quest, trying to survive. Thorin notices something has changed when he talks to you, as if an invisible wall has been built. You’re not distant, but he doesn’t catch your eyes as often as usual, or you go to sleep as soon as you eat, no longer spending time chatting together. Things like this made his days better during this long, dangerous quest.

“Are you alright?” he has the courage to ask you a night as he closes the front door of Beorn’s house while you’re sitting on a bench. “Yes, I just need a little fresh air. It’s so peaceful here, so I try to enjoy it the most I can,” you say, barely looking at him as he sits next to you. “Dwarves can be loud outside, but it’s worse inside, right?” he says in his usual serious tone. “Yeah, wait! I didn’t mean…” you hurry to say, looking suddenly at him as you raise your both hands in panic. Despite his serious tone, his eyes are smiling like his nephew used to after a joke. Once you chuckle, Thorin gets back to his usual behaviour with you. Then, you both talk like you used to when you can’t fall asleep some night during the journey, before the goblins, orcs and eagles, before even Rivendell. A long time ago…

It’s quiet and dark as you open your eyes slowly, feeling a weird sensation of falling. Thorin is just above you, his face close enough for you to smell the pipe-weed and leather. You slowly blink. His tempting lips just a few centimetres from yours. It could only be a dream, right? 

Someone will tell you later that you fell asleep on Thorin’s shoulder and he carried you to your makeshift bed. He was about to put you in your bed when you opened your eyes. Thorin’s hands are still holding you, one on your back and the other on your hip. But you don’t know that. So you do as you used to in your dreams : with your hand on his cheek, you move your lips forward to kiss him, as slowly as a half-awake person could.

Thorin didn’t see it coming. Not at all. His hands drop you suddenly and you fall on your bed, forced to wake up now. The surprise quiets you as you understand it wasn’t a dream. What could you say? What could you do? Raising your head doesn’t help since you can’t read his eyes with the darkness of the room. Yet, his eyes don’t leave you, and he hasn’t left either.

“I-I’m sorry!” you eventually stammer. Oh it’s hard to speak! “I thought… I thought I was dreaming.” Remaining at the same place, Thorin clears his throat. “Of kissing me?” he says in the deepest voice you ever heard. “Well, hm, yes… But I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about Dwarves' customs about dating stuff. Please just forget it.” You stare at him, waiting nervously for his answers. He doesn’t move, but he eventually asks, “Was it better than your dreams?”

You don’t know how much time passed before you speak again, but it seems Thorin wasn’t joking, so you quietly answer him, “It was so much better…” The silence resumes again, yet you eventually notice his hand in your hair. Since when does he stroke your hair? It’s dark, but you see him smiling. Genuinely smiling. “I don’t know about Men’s culture either. Can I kiss you now?” he asks, hesitating. “Only if you want to…” you reply, hoping you have chosen the good words. 

“Mahal, if you know what I want to…” he sighs before leaning a little to feel your lips again. As he could have barely tasted them before, he takes his time now to devour them. ‘His time’ until Dwalin bursts in, telling Thorin about the latest mistake his nephews had just made.

Kíli

Who knew that escaping a goblins’ horde would be scarier than facing them? As soon as they got out of Gobelins’ town, Kíli was free but it missed something. Or someone. You. He looked for you but didn’t see you anywhere. Only you and Bibo were missing. His brother and the others tried to reassure him but it was no use since they didn’t find you. 

When you finally join them, totally breathless, Bilbo is finishing his speech. Kíli runs to you and hugs you as soon as he joins you. “I thought I’d lost you…” he sighs. “You won't get rid of me that easily,” you laugh. You always wanted to say that. In other circumstances, Kíli might have laughed, but not now. When he pulls back just enough to see you, you notice how scared he was. There's something different about his eyes. His hands on your arms tense but you stay quiet. The only thing you’re focused on is his lips approaching you slowly…

Too slowly! You both jump when Thorin is yelling for everyone to run away. Then, everything happens fast. Orcs, Bolg, wargs, eagles!

Are The Carrock safe? You really hope so because you’re so tired that you remain sitting on the ground, trying to tell your heart to calm down. Then, Thorin wakes up and hugs Bilbo under the eyes of everyone. You look at Erebor from where you are, enjoying the calm of the morning sunrise.

When you’re feeling better, you stand up, tapping your clothes to remove dust and twigs trapped inside. Erk you never have been so dirty! As you remove the last leaves in your hair, you’re thinking about joining the company until you hear someone approaching you. 

“Amrâlimê?” Kíli says, just in front of you, close enough to see the fatigue on his face despite his bright smile. First, you think you've heard wrong. Obviously. He continues to walk toward you, then he hugs you as if it was the last you see each other. You close your arms around him. “I’m glad you’re alive,” he murmurs, his head still hidden in your neck. The warmth of his breath makes you shiver, but his smell comforts you. When he moves back a little, you notice how his hair is messy. You smile as you remove some leaves from it. Kíli looks at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he has ever seen despite the layer of dust still covering your face. But you don’t see it. You stop when he puts his forehead on yours. “As I said, you won't get rid of me that easily,” you say, this time making him laugh. “I hope so, Amrâlimê,” he murmurs as he moves back just enough to see your eyes. You try to say his Khuzdul word, and his smile confirms he understands you. 

Then, the very next moment, his both hands slide over your cheeks to guide your face towards his. He waits a short time before kissing you, a long, tender kiss. “I’m so glad you’re alive,” he says before kissing you again. “I’m glad too,” you say before pulling him to a new deeper kiss, not noticing everyone is already leaving without you.

Fíli

Fíli and Kíli never left your side during the quest. They were always with you, protecting you or teasing you. From the Shire to… Rivendell.  

In Rivendell, you feel safe enough to explore outside or inside alone. Everything is unbelievable. There is so much to see that it's a pleasure to explore both day and night. After some days here, you usually take a short walk after dinner, then you sit at a table in Elrond’s library. Not that you don't like the company, but it’s nice to spend a quiet evening reading an interesting book with the light of a candle.

“So you like books…” you hear as Fíli sits down on the chair next to you. After blocking the page you were reading, you turn back to him. With your finger over your mouth, you shush him, pointing at the elves reading at other tables. Thanks to a quill and a bottle of ink already on the table, you write on a piece of paper, “Once I finish this book, I'll join you outside.” After showing him the paper, he takes the quill and writes back, “I wait here”. 

You frown first, but knowing he's one of the dwarves who can behave, you resume your lecture. Well, he usually behaves, but tonight, you don’t know why, he had decided otherwise. While you try to read the book, he does everything to distract you : making a hat with the paper, tickling you with the quill, blowing on your ear, … You resist until he touches your hair, making braiding a lock of your hair.

You’re sure everyone can hear your heart beating loudly. Wait, where’s everyone? Are they all left? Are you alone in this library with Fíli braiding your hair? When did it get so hot here? 

As you still don’t pay attention to him, Fíli leans toward you. You know he is smirking. You know he is enjoying it. “What can I do to make you stop reading?” he whispers in a chuckling tone. Teasing you is one of his favourite things during the journey. Especially when you’re alone. But here, now, you don’t know how to react. It’s not teasing, for you it’s flirting. And he never flirted like that.

You pretend you’re reading the book but all your senses are on Fíli. So, when he suddenly kisses your cheek, your body reacts alone, turning your head toward him. In no time, his lips are on yours. Even though you’re surprised at first, you’re totally melting then. The book falls off your hand and you feel Fíli laughing. Yet, since you grab his jacket and kiss him back, he deepens the kiss, leaving both of you breathless when he pulls back. “If I'd known…” he starts before you kiss him again, not letting him speak with his teasing tone.

Bilbo 

Danger was everywhere during your journey, but when you arrived at Beorn’s, you could finally relax. It has been a long time since you felt safe, so you truly enjoy it. 

An evening after dinner with everyone, you’re both sitting outside on the grass, in the allowed area that Beorn told you. Thanks to the usual sounds of the night, it’s quiet and relaxing. Bilbo had joined you with tea and Beorn’s cakes, and now you’re chatting. For once, you look at the sky without worrying of the weather…

“It couldn’t be better,” you say while a light breeze blows on your hair as you drink tea. “I don’t remember the last time we were in a safe place. Safe with tea and cake! And that diner! Perfect! What more could we ask? Wine maybe.” Bilbo laughs with you. You both talk until it’s totally dark except the light coming from the house’s windows. Bilbo and you are used to chatting in the evenings. Just with him or with some other dwarves. Silence eventually takes over when you run out of things to talk about. It’s a peaceful landscape on the horizon if you don’t think of the orcs in the east or the spiders in the west.

Lost in your mind, you grab another piece of Beorn’s cake. With all the honey on it, you can't help but lick your fingers. A sound coming from Bilbo makes you turn towards him instinctively. He stares at you, while you –not elegantly– struggle to chew the large piece of cake in your mouth. Trying to understand him, you analyse him, your eyes remaining maybe too long on his lips, but anyway! Why is he staring at you? Did you eat the last cakes? Oh, he wouldn't be happy… He breathes silently before asking you, “Can I kiss you?”.

He almost looks as surprised as you by his own courage. “Wh-what?” you could only say with your mouth full of cake. After swallowing everything quickly and with difficulty, you resume, “Kiss? Who? Me? Now? But I’m eating.” Bilbo is not moving a bit, waiting for your answer. Does he even breathe? Do you breathe? Then, he tries a smile, “Is that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?”

With your sleeves, you hurry to wipe your mouth, then you reply to him, “Yes! Absolutely yes!”. In no time, he slides his hands on your cheeks to pull you to his lips. He starts with a shy kiss. Progressively, Bilbo deepens it, making you fall backwards on the grass. He follows you, staying above, not stopping the kiss for a moment.