this fanfic shit is so easy


@theartofmadeline

if i look back, i am lost
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Peter Solarz
we're not kids anymore.
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@fauxshow42
this fanfic shit is so easy

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"Sergeant Bothari didn't hesitate," Droushnakovi said flatly. "No," agreed Cordelia. "Sergeant Bothari doesn't waste energy feeling...sorry, for the enemy, either." "No. Do you?" "I feel sick." "You kill two total strangers, and expect to feel jolly?" "Bothari does." "Yes. Bothari enjoyed it. But Bothari is not, even by Barrayaran standards, a sane man. Do you aspire to be a monster?" "You call him that!" "Oh, but he's my monster. My good dog." She always had trouble explaining Bothari, sometimes even to herself. Cordelia wondered if Droushnakovi knew the Earth-historical origin of the term scapegoat. The sacrificial animal that was released yearly into the wilderness, to carry the sins of its community away...Bothari was surely her beast of burden; she saw clearly what he did for her. She was less certain of what she did for him, except that he seemed to find it desperately important. "I, for one, am glad you are heartsick. Two pathological killers in my service would be an excess. Treasure that nausea, Drou."
Barrayar, by Lois McMaster Bujold
you are not an endearingly rude and unfriendly cartoon character you need to be nice to people
"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with
Hey op thanks for fundamentally rearranging my molecules in some helpful way this fine evening
In the TV show of Vorkosigan Saga which is never going to get made, I hereby demand that when Cordelia and Aral first meet, we immediately switch to Aral's point of view, and the visual of Cordelia lying in the mud throwing up is covered in bishie sparkles and an anime rose petal filter. So that we can really get a glimpse of what was going on inside Aral's head.

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"You can't set fire to the residence!" Drou gasped in horror.
Girl, if there is one thing I've learned about Captain Cordelia Naismith in the past few weeks, it is that she absolutely fucking can.
"'What?' yelped Vordarian in astonishment. 'You're a Bettan, you can't do --"
My brother in galactic idiocy (taps sign) READ. THE. DAMN. WARNING.
also forgot how much the latter half of The Vor Game breaks my heart for Gregor, because. CHRIST.
slowly being crushed under the weight of having to be The Emperor since he was five years old (which is clearly a lot of pressure even though Aral and Cordelia seem to have done their best to shield him from the brunt of it when he was younger), finds out his dead father was a monster, is terrified he's going to turn into a monster too, tries to kill himself, runs away, ends up in indentured servitude in the middle of a tangled political mess and soon-to-be war zone, gets found by Miles (tries to help Gregor out with his emotional issues, Bad At It) and has to tell him what happened, gets captured, has to honeypot the evil opportunistic mercenary holding him prisoner so she doesn't just slit his throat, and then after finally getting out of that...has to go right back to being Emperor and help stop a war.
meanwhile Miles is like "wow Gregor's always been so serious." yeah man, can't imagine why.
please god let chatgpt die out like nfts did. With a fast and graceless fall into irrelevancy
Like to charge, reblog to cast.
This spell has a very low hit ratio, so we need a lot of us to do it.
Listen, I don't want to argue about the finale. I just want to share my love of these ineffable dumb dumbs and the art I made to celebrate them. They were one of the earliest additions to the Wall of Hyperfixations.

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me: truly a well crafted tragedy is such a bittersweet pleasure to take in and serves a purpose, not just as a sad story but as a reminder that even that which ends badly might not have happened in vain or for nothing. The love, the grief, the actions still meant something simply for having taken place and for us partaking in it.
me when said tragedy is about to actually unfold, sweating: ok but consider this. i dont want this to happen
Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible
So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.
Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.
Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.
Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.
Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.
Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.
Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.
Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.
Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!
Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.
Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.
Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.
Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.
Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.
If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.
Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.
It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.
Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.
You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.
Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.
the number of times in my past that I desperately wanted/needed someone to sit me down and tell me this stuff. I will never get back the hours and hours lost to headless-chicken mode, but it’s nice to know that in the last year I’ve learned so many coping mechanisms :D
This looks like a fucking parody post, or an edgy edit, but it’s 100% official real Flintstones.
Clarification: I don’t hate this book, I love it, it’s amazing. It’s just that taking a step back and looking it out of context is still really funny. Especially the line “We participated in a genocide, Barney.”
ok but imagine them in their cartoon forms saying this dialogue i’m
can we have some context to this, perhaps?
Bedrock is having a mayoral election. One of the candidates is a violent war mongering asshole that riles people up against the lizard people. This reminds Fred and Barney of their time in the army.
Back then the father of said violent candidate was riling people up against the “tree people”. Fred, Barney, and other soldiers fought what they believed to be a defensive measure against the tree people. Turns out, it was actually an invasion, in order to kill off the tree people and take over their forest to build Bedrock.
That’s what Fred means when he says he and Barney participated in a genocide. They literally did.
(Extra fun fact, Barney adopted a tree person baby after the war, and his son Bamm-Bamm is the last tree person.)
just fucking read it
http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Flintstones
There are a lot of interesting things about this post but the AK-47 shaped spear is what really got me
This is just as wild with the context
Some of my favorite moments in the series
From the foreword to 2021 print of the comic.
I’m glad people want to read it but don’t it on the pirate site linked above, though. It’s full of malware and annoying ads.
The omnibus of the full series is only about $30 online.
If you don’t have $30 going spare, check your local library. If they don’t have it, they can help you with interlibrary loan. Or they might just buy it - libraries want to carry books people will read!
Shards of Honor -> The Vor Game
every time I find a parallel in this series it stabs me through the heart
"Since no one is perfect, it follows that all great deeds have been accomplished out of imperfection. Yet they were accomplished, somehow, all the same." --Lois McMaster Bujold, Mirror Dance

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Miles slowly collecting an entire ship's crew is so funny to me. he doesn't even know what he's doing. "gotta catch 'em all" I am shaking you by the shoulders good sir this will be plot relevant whether you like it or not
aral vorkosigan really is one of the most characters of all time. he’s bisexual. he watched the dismemberment of the emperor and the killing of most of his immediate family when he was eleven years old. his first wife cheated on him so he challenged both other men to a duel and killed them both. it looked as if they’d killed each other so nobody ever investigated and he got away with it. his wife then killed herself. he went on a years-long bender and had a very public affair with his dead wife’s brother. he dumped his dead wife’s brother thus initiating a ~20 year long toxic yaoi situation. he helped lead the invasion of the nearest planet and was dubbed "the butcher" of said planet after a subordinate initiated a massacre against his orders. he killed said subordinate with his bare hands. he met his second wife after his crew mutinied on a near deserted planet, and also after her entire party was killed. he fell in love with her at first sight because she was throwing up in the dirt while wearing pants as a woman. she helped kill his ex boyfriend. he proposed marriage to her in the middle of a war while she was considered a POW. he plotted with the emperor to kill the heir to the throne and all his significant supporters. he’s an adrenaline junkie who enjoys drunk driving his lightflyer through canyons at night and definitely has a death wish. and he's bisexual. all of this is information available in book 1 of 17