HEY THIS IS THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE BUILDING I WORK IN AND THERES A HORSE HERE
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@fatdevforpresident
HEY THIS IS THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE BUILDING I WORK IN AND THERES A HORSE HERE

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i mean he does live in the desert
I still think the little girl who is the world's most skilled at summoning earthworms has to be, like.. that's the most interesting person alive. I wake up at night and remember that this fucking 6-or-whatever-year-old can just. Do that. That's terrifying. I hate knowing this. But again, at the same time, I wonder about it constantly. The whole thing is supposedly a skill passed down through families. People have been honing this ability for fucking CENTURIES. But this little tiny child absolutely blows everyone else out of the water just by summoning HUNDREDS OF EARTHWORMS
Oh context would probably help here huh
Sophie Smith isnt fucking human and I fear her
I looked up footage of this event and i was NOT disappointed
bastard’s degree
bastard of sciences
motherfucker of arts

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Shoulda realized I had adhd that time I misplaced a two-ton vehicle and didn’t realize for 48 hours
How to activate executive dysfunction in twenty easy steps:
-be in college
-drive to cafe to do homework, stay for a while
-i can’t park at the university b/c parking passes are like 300 dollars, so i leave my car where it is and walk to a building on campus for a meeting. this is important. normally I walk to and from campus
-heyimoncampus.jpeg
-it’s been 2 hours so by now the car has ceased to exist until I need it again
-walk home
-life as usual for a few days, I don’t need my car during the week so i don’t notice it’s not where it’s supposed to be
-Saturday. I pack up to drive to see my folks. Got all my stuff in a backpack and i’m ready to go
-go to parking spot
- Dude Where’s My Car (2000)
-holyfucksomebodystoleitwhostolemycar– waitasecond
-long term memory… loading. loading.
-oh shit it’s 2 miles away I left it at the cafe on Thursday
- “who stole my car” me. i did. i stole my own car. from myself
-basically jog back across campus to get there as fast as possible because it’s not like i left it in a rando parking lot for two days already and the 5 minutes i save by exhausting myself will totally make a difference
-holy shit i hope it’s still there
-it is. the god of forgetful assholes was smiling down on me because i don’t even have a parking ticket even though i’m right under a “no overnight parking” sign
- this car had a 50/50 shot of actually turning over on any given day because it guzzled through batteries like some people guzzle la croix so by now i’m freaking out b/c i have no idea what to do if it doesn’t start
-god of faulty car batteries is smiling too
-i am halfway to driving to my parents when i realize i forgot my backpack at home
-somehow it takes five years before anyone suspects i have adhd
-the end
Egyptian farmers in 3100 BC after figuring out how to divert water from the nile river to water their crops
Am I wild for liking the crust w/o the frosting
Yes
How u gone ask a question and spray me for answering
I ain’t expect someone to actually say I’m wildin
That sounds like ya own fault!
I refuse to take responsibility.
Typical nigga shit
Tracking Service, as helpfully as possible: Your order is out for delivery! It should arrive by 8 PM today!
Me, sitting by the door at 8:12 AM: pakige
Me opening my apartment door anytime I hear the outside door open despite it being 10AM: Böx?
envelööp?
Olivia’s like ‘why can’t you just say she’s dead’
He said I hope not why is that hilarious

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Bill Nye for most of his career: Imma do science for kids. Science without politics. Nice, tame science for the kiddos.
Bill Nye now:
BILL, BILL, BILL!!!!
And let’s not forget
I’d never seen that last one, but my life is better for it
an icon
Eventually some redneck is going to be the reason why an emergency drone wasn't able to provide emergency assistance.
And it's quite possible that they could cost a life.
The internet likes to joke, but there are serious implications to hating on tech constantly and never talking about the good it can do.
These ignorant people are only exposed to drones violating privacy, they don't even consider that there's good being done.. again, because you're too busy making Terminator jokes.
You didn’t have to absolutely deepthroat the boot like that, man.
the police: *spy on people using loopholes in surveillance law*
@altruistech: actually theoretically it could have medical implications in the future :/
Lady in the back has that shit cocked and ready to fire
the sequel
i hate when artists on this website draw black ppl with lighter palms and just refuse to do it right the reason why y’all shit looks like steamboat willie fan art is because y’all just color block the palm without adding any gradient
also just adding any pale ass color y’all want without understanding the color of our palms is going to be the same undertone as the rest of the skin and can vary by how light/dark they are
it’s not rocket science luv
lmao ive literally seen black artists draw the hands just like what ur hating on
literally when and where did i say only nonblack artists did this. when. where. show me.
It's called style... Ya know, artistic artistic license...

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