Jason Todd Apologist

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“—and if you’re going to run from a traffic stop, do it before you give them your license,” Jason finished, crossing his arms. “Questions?”

A man in the front row of mismatched folding chairs raised his hand. “Even if it’s fake?”

“Yes, even if it’s fake.” Jason took a breath before continuing. “It’s still your face, height, and weight, right?

Slowly but surely, the group began to nod.

“Mr. Hood?” A skinny twig of an 18 year-old raised a hand.

“Yeah?”

“My buddy told me that if they arrest you, and they don’t read your, uh,” the kid stumbled looking nervous. “Your, uh, Melinda rights, they have to let you go.”

Jason sighed into his helmet. There were times when he appreciated Bruce’s breathing tech. The sigh had been filtered and dispersed just after it had finished.

In the intervening moment, the group began to lean forward in their folding chairs, attempting to parse the silence.

Jason lifted one finger.

“They’re Miranda rights.”

Second finger.

“And no, they don’t let have to let you go. Best case scenario, they’ll have to throw out anything incriminating you said. That’s it.”

A plumber-for-hire perked up in the last row, opening his mouth.

“Shit you said during questioning,” Jason clarified quickly.

“Wait. You’re not supposed to talk during an arrest?”

Jason closed his eyes. Behind his helmet, they couldn’t see him. He couldn’t see them. It was beautiful, just for a moment.

Someone scoffed.

“What are you, a fucking snitch?”

“Devon,” Jason said, recognizing the voice, “Chill the fuck out. Brady, what the fuck are you saying when you get arrested?”

Brady was trembling in his seat.

“That I’m gonna f-fuck them up. And t-their families.,” he stuttered. “And I might even s-steal their dog so their k-kids hate them f-forever.”

“See?” Jason waved at Devon. “Terroristic threats. Not snitching.”

Nobody laughed. Jason could sense the incoming questions like they were bullets curving toward his head.

“Terroristic threats?”

“Okay,” Jason said. “So remember when we talked about the different definitions of assault?”

And then there’s Jedediah. Who. Y’know. Is a tad slow.

Octavius’s feelings are 100% reciprocated. Jed is just as in love. He’s just so dumb that he hasn’t realized he’s gay, much less in a relationship with Oct.

Jed will go “I mean yeah I wanna kiss him but that’s normal. Like, with the homies. But only Octavius. I’d only kiss him. But that doesn’t mean we’re in love or anything.”

And Octavius is actively holding a bouquet of roses like “please marry me you beautiful idiot”

OK SO I AM ALWAYS A LITTLE PISSED ABOUT THE ENDING OF THE THIRD MOVIE BEING SO CLOSE TO STICKING THE LANDING AND THEN JUST SCREWING IT ALL OVER SO HERE

First off Ahk should have had his parents come back with him to the museum of natural history (I am a firm believer that this is the museum that should come to life, bc not only are they used to it but it’s also the most controlled one w/ Larry)

Also, Lancelot should’ve come back. It would’ve been a great ending for his story, especially since he was having an identity crisis over not being real, it would’ve really helped him grow

Nicky should have gotten a job at the museum (yes we are taking this idea from the fourth movie, but still pretending that it never happened) it’s clear that Larry should never have stayed at the museum. It’s not his calling, he still loves his museum family, but he thrived with his company. However it most definitely is Nicky’s (not to mention that he can still work on his music career while holding a job at the museum)

McPhee fully reinstates the night program with Nicky as the head and him watching it over to make sure things don’t go wrong (it’s a great attraction to bring people into the museum and a good thing for the museum exhibits to do win, win)

IF ANYONE SHOULDVE GOTTEN A KISS IT SHOULDVE BEEN JED AND OCT I REST MY CASE

Larry and Dexter shouldn’t have kissed they can still have like a cute moment like “hey I know we were hard on each other, but i genuinely care about you”

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ANNOUNCEMENT UNDER CUT.

Like I'll be having a not-so-good day, then remember how Hector had given himself an entire pep talk to fight Achilles. He saw Achilles running full speed towards him and proceeds to just book it.

Or when Menelaus got shot by an arrow in like in an ultimately nonfatal spot, and Agamemnon begins prematurely mourning him while he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️” you're scaring the men.”

Or when Odysseus is walking around the camps with a royal scepter and is just beating people with it if he finds them packing or suggesting to leave.

Or when Hector is brainstorming on how to face Achilles and for a moment goes, “Maybe I could talk with him, we’re both princes, we can both be rational, I could reason with him… that's a horrible fucking idea.”

Odysseus @ Achilles

EDIT:

Ok, I’m seeing a lot of misunderstandings and people thinking this is my art. THIS IS NOT MY ART. I did mention this in the comments, but hindsight is 20/20. I wasn’t expecting this post to blow up so much, so I hadn’t put too much thought as to what it was going to put into the post. Anyways, here is the link to the art that this photo is from

Napoleon: I hope I can be like caesar

Caesar: I hope I can be like alexander the great

Alexander the great: I hope I can be like achilles