delia

oh hi thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garbage

Observation: I have never broken a bone Hypothesis: I am boneless Data: I appear to have broken at least two bones in my foot slipping on the ice Conclusion: I have at least two bones. Strong evidence suggests the possibility of a third one. 

remember when fyre fest happened like a year or so ago and there was this article where the attendees complained about how shitty it was but there was this one middle class dude who won a ticket through like a lottery or something and had the time of his life because rich people suffering is great. i hope y’all remember it is today’s mood

Dudes in 18th century would b like “if u don’t respond to my marriage proposal by next winter I’m going to enlist in the war and die .”

i resent being able to understand this post

Date a boy who does a little wiggle dance when he’s excited

him

who is he

As someone who is colourblind this post is fucking hilarious because they are in fact all the same fucking colour

me as a doctor

that look says she bout to beat that doctor’s ass

this is so sad alexa kill your ceo

NORMALIZE POLYAMORY

I hate to rain on the parade during pride month, but it’s always good to remember what we’re fighting for. His name was Gabriel Fernandez.

I’m forgetting this thing in English again and Google isn’t helping

I can help. Try & describe it.

Dirt noodle. Breakdances when touched and or exposed to sunlight

…. a worm ?

OH, WORM??

good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop.