Hello!

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Slytherin: Are you sure you shouldn't have been sorted into Hufflpuff?

Ravenclaw: Yes, I am sure, because I know better than to actually pet wild animals.

Slytherin: About what?

Ravenclaw: I don't know.

Being young enough for Minecraft but too old for Fortnite

Being alive for 9/11 but not remembering it at all cuz you were like 2

Seeing reruns of 90s shows when you were really little but being to young to really remember them

Feeling betrayed by Butch Hartman

Listening to the bops of ~2009-2012 in middle school gym class

Growing up through the transition from clunky PCs for nerds and flip phones to smartphones and sleek and easy laptops

Pictochat