big. stupid. jellyfish.

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" I would. Pussy

"Im not gonna sink to their level" I will. Coward

"Im the bigger person" I'm 150cm tall. Give me the gun bitch

“you can’t forget your mother tongue” okay but have you considered bilinguals and polyglots whose first language isn’t english and whose development during adolescence was shaped by consuming content and media only in english and have ever since viewed that second language, foreign to their own, as a better outlet for their emotions and thoughts? as Yiyun Li said “it is hard to feel in an adopted language, yet impossible in my native language.”

on a dark & stormy night, there was a creature . & you’re never going to beleive what it did next

it creached

Anyway, stop playing into spoiler culture, you will feel happier I promise.

Like cryptocurrency is so funny and dumb cause money was already a fake thing but they said we’re gonna make this even faker and even dumber than it already was and its hilarious to me

breeding headphones without wires because you 'think it looks cute' is just cruel

I love this meme because I think humans 10,000 years ago or 100,000 years ago would also like it

[ID: an tweet by user I told my therapist about you (@/itoldmythe) that reads, “The last thing you ate is what you have to name him”. A picture attached to the tweet shows a very small white puppy with its tongue partially sticking out, behind held in someone’s hands. End ID.]

there no sympathy nowadays there’s no girl i forgive u for putting this ugly guy on my dash because ur clearly ovulating and mentally ill. chivalry is dead

“i’m bisexual which means i’m attracted to every woman ever and exactly one man” uhhh speak for yourself men are sexy and i love them

pov: you’re in the passenger seat, hand-feeding the driver fries like a wild horse