the blog

Me: *gives snail cucumber slice* 🐌: munch munch Me: *literally sobbing* you ask for so little but you deserve so much

y’all going “through it”?? just go around it 😂😌

so much of late 2000s music was like “we falling in love... in this club... we’re all family... in this club.... we’re having the time of our lives... in this club” like wtf we gotta get back to the club !!!

adulthood is like....I’m trying to get back into the concept of having hobbies

if i was like "every time i cut steak into a different shape there's a brand new word for it" everyone else would be like "no that's stupid". but we let pasta get away with anything.

eating bread dipped in soup unlocks new emotions

do you think we get to learn everything when we die or are the colors that exist between colors gonna be shrimp-only knowledge forever

being god's personal jester is tough sometimes but i am nothing if not committed to my job

This morning at brunch the server came out and he was like "unfortunately we don't have ice right now because a server just broke a glass in it" and we were all like "no that's fine I think an element of danger at brunch is sexy and fun" and he was like no absolutely I get that but I still can't let you eat glass at my job

if it is ur birthday happy birthday and if it isnt happy existing day

*kisses you softly on the forehead* vibe check