bwub

i'm gonna delete this account guys thank u to the 3 people who enjoyed my blog

i have cultivated a friend group that does not know slash cant relate slash doesnt care about my problems and it sucks so badddd i pushed away the only people that careeee because i was depressed and missed them because of personal issues and idek what to do. i feel so guilty venting to my friends because i dont wanna come off like some whiny jerk who only talks about my problems im struggling so bad im drowning and nobody cares and its all my own fault i need to kill myself

idek how to be sad as an adult i only know how to be sad as a hormonal teen which is sad and embarrassing because im twenty six

sorry yall should probably unfollow me i literally only use this acct to vent bc i have nobody

i dont know how much clearer i can be

i dont like want to kill myself i just wish i wouldnt wake up i guess or if i walked outside i'd get hit by a car. but then when im in dangerous situations i fear for my life and panic. Hm maybe im just a big hypocrite who should disappear forever

i just dont think i was like made to live i think im permanently fucked up bc of what has happened to me

i wanna kill myself

the only people who have ever told me to watch breaking bad were massive scumbags

i like drawing

i wish i could just make ocs based on bill and kieran and make them canon and call it a day but legit everything abt them is perfect. Their character designs their motivations their needs their wants their flaws their NAAAAMES, how am i supposed to go on without marion???? i think the only answer to this is i buy Rockstar Games and make a red dead redemption 3 where its 60+ hours of kieran fucking bill nasty style during chapter 2. Do you guys think the actors will come back for this. I think Steve would