Gay

being on the internet

ive bitten six people so far this year by hiding in the rack of sweaters and lunging when someone reaches out to touch them but the banana republic staff cant put me down cause im an endangered species

one thing no one ever teaches you is that you can just make things nicer and more intentional- you can take your energy drink, pour it in a rocks glass over ice with a slice of lime on the rim, and sip it slow. and you'll think, "wow i am the biggest faggot to have ever lived". and you know what? you're right.

Queer Slur Heritage Post

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

"Sniff." - The Restrained Sniffer

"Just one is plenty." - The Restrained Sniffer

"It would be terribly gauche of me to sniff any further." - The Restrained Sniffer

its so funny to me when ppl reblog this to their nsfw blogs bc they have a musk kink or whatever bc my mental image when i made this was of a nervous william wegman dog desperately trying not to commit a faux pas at a fancy party

If i was a girl with a tiktok lip gloss company i would make a grey one called gnat and its gnat flavored and gnat scented

yeah i have an outside husband lol i know its unethical but he just loves exploring

carly rae jepsen is throwing bricks at my house but what am i gonna do, stop her?

Shes just making it stronger by increasing the total amount of bricks. Shes saving your life

Queen of throwing bricks and saving my life

masturbation: one crazy trick you can do with your dick and hands that Big Sex doesn't want you to know about

ah jeez, i’m unfollowing him now. i had no idea he was picking up the field mice and bopping them all on the head

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional

blood is basically the most normal thing for a sword to hunger for. if a sword gained sentience and started asking me for blood i'd be like yeah i thought you might say that

my sword hungers for gochujang and its a real pain to get the good stuff