HelenNellenFaehoundYellen

(Bandia san Insible)

It was cold, so cold her breath hung in the air then slowly drifted to the floor. So cold she had long stopped shivering. That was bad right? Yeah, probably really bad. She glanced over to the pilot, wrapped in three blankets, breathing shallow, asleep to conserve oxygen.

 The pilot, her friend, her lover. That beautiful, excited girl who had spent years working at a scrap heap until she had sculpted it into a ship. A ship they would use to escape from the world that hated them. The irony that it was going to be their coffin now wore her thin.

 They had barely gotten out of the planet's pull when two ships had pulled alongside them. Enforcers of the rich and powerful. They said they were criminals. They weren't allowed to escape. The scrap they used, the food they gathered. It was someone else's property you see.

 Theft was punishable by death. They had tried to jump, tried to run. But one well placed shot had killed them dead in the water, so to speak. Their ramshackle reactor sputtered out and there wasn't even power for life support.

 They had left them to drift, the bastards. At least she still had ansible access to her communicator. She could at least go out with a song she loved. Something full of pop, something happy. She felt so tired now, she just wanted to sink into that happiness and freedom again.

 So she sank into those feelings, remembering the times they played and worked together on the ship. Music had always been there, her connection with the ansible had always been a comfort, the fuel for her fire. She was so tired, so sleepy. 

 She didn't even feel the ship shudder.

 The sound of claw tips on metal didn't reach her through her earbuds. Her cheeks were so numb she didn't feel the sharp edge of one graze across her cheek. Didn't see how they touched her forehead, then... Then she woke up.

 She was warm. She was warm? She could feel her fingers again, her toes too. Her eyes swam with colors and she felt like she was still floating in microgravity. Oh, of course. She was dead huh? Of course she was, how else could she explain the sight before her.

 Everything and nothing stretched out before her. The air buzzed with energy and colors. Electric blues, reds, violets and yellows quivered around her, rippling as she stood, waves of color lapping at her bare feet. 

 Oh yeah, she had to be dead, that would explain the nudity.

 "Have you considered that you didn't in fact die, my friend?" She jumped, startled as the voice spoke into her mind. She whirled around, trying to find them, but found nothing but color and silence.

 "Oh you won't find me there. That's not a space for me. But you? You're perfect for that lonely place. Look at how much you've livened it up already." The voice laughed. She huffed, looking around, it did seem like the air quivered around her. Strange. "Quite strange indeed."

 "But this is a chance for you. You wanted more music, more happiness, yeah? Take it then, this world is yours." She felt something inside her slip away, something she hadn't noticed didn't match. It fell away, leaving her feeling a little empty, a little lonely.

 She dwells on what the voice said. Her world? What even was it? Kneeling down she poked a finger into the colors around her. Electric charge traveled up her arm. She gasped, seeing, hearing, feeling. Conversations, music, videos, messages. All of them poured into her mind.

 She shivered. It felt so good, she was connected to so much. Her shoulders rolled forward and she plunged into the colors, feeling the waves of electricity climbing over her skin. A billion songs and voices filled her mind. She felt herself sinking deeper and deeper into it.

 Then she blinked. She sank but that wasn't right was it? This was hers, her gift. She couldn't just let it wash her away. She singled out one voice, one song. The one she thought she should die to. Now she would live to it.

She grinned, feeling sparks between her teeth. Tapping her foot to the beat and dancing. Laughing. Fingers gliding out across a trillion data streams, each touch a connection. She wouldn't just lose herself in this, she couldn't. That would be such a waste.

Across the galaxy screens flashed. News and programs and streams interrupted. Just the laughing, smiling face of a girl playing over them all a song many had forgotten played over every speaker. She felt it all, every connection, every word and image passed over her.

 They tried to cut her off of course. She saw the techs, trying to stop her. Her grin grew sharp, eyes gleaming at them over screens as she fried their systems, invaded and dominated. She was the ansible now. And she would not let them control her any longer.

 She laughed sweetly as she floated on a wave of electromagnetism. Then a new color appeared in her eyes, a new connection. One that felt so familiar. She reached out for it, tears streaming down her face. How could she have forgotten? She reached out to it, cupping it in her hands and holding it to her cheek.

They say in space, no one can hear you scream.

This is usually true.

Unless you of course get shoved out an airlock in your ill-fitting evac suit, with your former crew-mates on the radio calling out insults and jeers, listening to you beg for them to come back. To save you.

They didn't even throw you out at a spaceport, just in the middle of the void. Punishment for trusting them with your secret. At the time you hadn't thought it was a bad idea. Traveling with them for the past year, you thought you'd seen every side of the small freighter's crew. They were kind, for being from such a backwater place.

Then you had mentioned why you signed on, why you *really* signed on.

The money was too good not to, you could afford the new gene editing soon. Actually be who you wanted to be, have the body you wanted to be in. The cold stares you received when you spoke those words told you just how much you should have never spoken. They let you stew in the hold for a few hours, talking amongst themselves while you waited.

Then they didn't even give you the decency of a starport. Just the cold, empty vacuum of space.

You had lied to them, they said. Deceived them, tried to pull the wool over their eyes. They said a changeling like you deserved this fate. The betrayal goes both ways, a little part of you screamed. But you didn't want to hide anymore. You had hoped, with them, you were safe.

And now you screamed, you begged. You flailed in emptiness, trying to convince them that you would still be the same, just better. Your oxygen wouldn't last long, you knew this. But you still hoped and prayed for something to change.

They say in space, no one can hear you scream. But, something did.

You felt the familiar grip and pull around your sternum as something jumped into space behind you. As you slowly spun you saw it, a ship. You felt tears flow down your cheeks. Thank the stars.

But it wasn't any make you had seen before. Heavily armored, alien, scarred from battle. The ship had an organic feel to it. It wasn’t a human ship, you realized. Fear rose in your throat.

“Aren't you a noisy one?" A voice that rang like bells over your radio exclaimed.

No. That wasn't over speakers. You heard it, felt it in your mind, echoing in your skull like it was open wide to the void.

"Why are you floating in the aether little one? Your kind doesn't belong here." The voice spoke into you, "Let's see why then." Then you felt something sharp and warm carefully press into your mind, probing softly. You froze up as it inspected you, rooting through your very being.

"Oh I see. Cruel little creatures. Not giving you the opportunity to spread your wings." You gasped up at the ship as it drew closer, its gargantuan mass pulling you towards it.

"Would you like it?" The voice asked. What?

"The chance. To spread those wings, to become what you ought to be, become more than what you ever imagined. To show them." You felt the grin behind those words slide across your mind and shivered.

Yes, you thought, you'd give everything to show them.

"Good." You watched as the nose began to rise, expecting a bay to open up and a shuttle to rescue you.

Instead you were greeted by rows upon rows of teeth and a throat lined in singularity. A maw so great it could have swallowed a fleet. You wanted to shrink in fear as the ship opened, but you could barely move. Its jaws yawned open ever wider, its breath a glowing nebula washing over you. Radiation warnings spiked, your mind reeling. Its armor crumbled as it moved, arms and legs, a tail, covered in eons worth of asteroids and blast melt till they shone.

Then it shot you.

Something sprang out of it through the void, hitting you hard in the chest. You began screaming once more, this time from pain as a small, scaled thing tore through your suit and burrowed into your flesh. Breach warnings flashed over your HUD and alarms screeched in your ears. You tried to hold the pain back, feeling the cold of space wash over your limbs as air rushed out of the tear. You felt the thing squirm inside you, red blood leaking from your chest and freezing instantly over it like a gemstone.

You curled into the pain as your suit depressurized, your blood boiling in the vacuum.

"Shhh, change is always painful, child. Let it wash over you, burning away everything you hate." The voice, Her voice, was hot in your mind, melting into you with every word like liquid fire.Then it sank into all of you. White hot pain exploded inside you. You arch back, crying out as your limbs spasm, something under your skin wrapping around your bones, twisting and warping them. Your skin hardened in places, burst in others as something new rose up.You felt your suit tear away, your helmet shattering around you as you changed.

But you didn't feel the cold vacuum around you anymore. Now it was warm, heat and radiation from innumerable stars warming your new skin. The song of galaxies played in your ears.

You flexed your new claws, feeling the space in between grip around them. Your tail thrashed in the air that no other could feel, the very matter of the universe shivering around you. You grinned with new fangs up at Her. You felt alive, more so than you had in years.

"Welcome back little one. Show them yourself now. Show them how much they missed out on knowing the real you. Show them your true beauty." She loomed over you still, now more like a mother to her child, nudging you out of the nest to fly.

With a nod you stretched your wings out, beating against the nothingness and sending you soaring. They were far away now, having jumped when She appeared. They thought they could run, but nowhere is really far away when you’re a predator of the void. One thought and you tore through the nothingness and jumped in front of them. They were just so slow.

You alighted to the nose of their craft, and you could see them in the cockpit. Their faces were so full of fear as you stepped up, walking over the hull. You could feel their screams through the metal as you plunged your claws into their armor, scraped your teeth over the hull like it was soft, plump flesh, the atmosphere rushing out like blood around your jaws. You burrowed deep into your kill. Their drive and reactor beat fast and hot like a heart, and as you closed your teeth around the reactor chamber you relished at just how sweet the metal tasted. You gorged yourself on it, feasting until the ship sputtered to its death.

Just like they did to you, they wouldn't get the decency of a spaceport. They hadn't even had time to don suits as you tore through them. You felt the tingle and warmth as She jumped alongside you, taking the rest of the ship in her jaws as tribute.You flew closer, nuzzling into her cratered face.

You were still so small compared to her. But one day, eons away, you knew you would be just as mighty. "It's been so long since I shared my gift, since our kind flew in the aether between stars. But you, with your will and courage to become what you’re meant to be. You can change that." You could feel the pride and love in her voice. It made your chest tighten in a way your human family never had. Her grin flashed over a face that had seen stars grow and die a billion times over. "Let us once more fill this void with change and life. It has been empty for far too long."

You smiled and laughed, joy filling your heart. You would share your gifts with all who wanted it. All who deserved to have their true bodies. You could make the universe tremble, and show everyone how happy you truly were.