any ship can be problematic because I have the heart and soul of a depraved pervert
Sade Olutola

Kiana Khansmith
Keni

blake kathryn

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

#extradirty

he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Andulka

oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
untitled
Not today Justin

@theartofmadeline

gracie abrams

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@f1rstyasfk
any ship can be problematic because I have the heart and soul of a depraved pervert

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this might be a random question but…. i am new to the carlando of it all… what on earth are the brazilian villas escapades…?
Anon, i would like it to be known that it took me an effort and a half to create this post bc tumblr said they can't process it. so here you have it in parts.
✨Part 1
buckle up, anon, it's gonna be long and educational
So the year was 2021. Lando and Carlos were not teammates anymore. And just for fun and whimsy, i'd take you back to post-Mexican GP 2021, the week before Brazil, where they went out together to RBR's after-party (Max-Checo was 1-2 that weekend).
Besties are out having fun
apparently this new carlando pic was taken at the rb after party (source)
Then they flew out together to Brazil. The second post came out later, but it just supporting what we already knew at that time. (charles was also there. but it's so beside the point. other to emphasize the fact who carlos chose to be with)
Lando with the other Carlos means his Carlos is nearby
So i assume they also took a transfer together to the airport huh
and then, these idiots posted, almost at the same time, IG stories of fish. i'm sorry, but you had to be there to understand our reaction to it. ofc we didn't know anything at that moment, but we thought, how wild it is that they 1) went to a party in Mexico together, 2) flew to brazil together, 3) and were STILL together to enjoy fishies.
Yes, these are stories of fish. No, you can't see carlando in it. But are they at the same place at the same time? You best believe they are
then, a random heli story from carlos, and we just assumed they're still together. and i'm gonna sneak in the info that this whole thing was during lando's birthday week.
The "date" had moved on to helicopter ride i see
and we were such sweet summer childs, that we didn't know the importance of this story from Lando. bc, this is the house.
Hmmmmmm i smell golf coming perhaps
✨ Part 2
✨ Part 3
✨ Part 4
let it be known that i touch grass frequently and I’m still like this.
hot take possibly? but i actually think it’s okay for things to be marketed for adults. it’s literally okay if things aren’t suitable for children. i feel like we are losing the plot
Correct. Furthermore: children bending or breaking the rules to get a peek at something that's not intended for them is a part of growing up.
finding somebody who will laugh at your shitty jokes is joy-inducing but finding a motherfucker who can yes-and all the esoteric bullshit you put out is pure cocaine. this must be the shit all those racuous but good-natured scoundrels down at the tavern are on

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Goodwood isn't that bad, all things considered. Security on site knows what they're doing, and even surrounded by a sea of people all clamoring for Lando, Steve feels like things are pretty much under control. Lando spends the event shuffled from one location to another, draped under the arms of other famous men, turning and flashing that easy, charming smile for one camera after another. Steve has been around long enough now to know that the crash is coming.
Family day is almost a day off for Steve, Lando securely tucked away from fans or media obligations. Steve is on call, but he doesn't hear from Lando. He watches the dot of his shared location move around the property, drive off for tea, come back. Lando texts him before he leaves for the night amd again when he gets home. Steve is almost asleep when his phone pings a third time.
He rolls over, squinting against the brightness of the screen.
Lando: Can we set up a golf outing tomorrow?
Steve stares at the phone. Lando is more than capable of setting up his own golf schedule, so that's not what he's asking. Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, flips on the bedside lamp and calls Lando.
"I didn't want to wake you," Lando says by way of greeting.
"I wasn't asleep yet," Steve assures him, rubbing at his eyes. "Who do you want at this golf outing?" He uses Lando's phrase carefully.
"Whoever." Steve can picture the shrug, Lando toying with a seam somewhere on his clothes. "Just don't want to spend the day alone."
"Max-" Steve begins.
"Max is busy," Lando interjects. "I already." He stops. "I know it's late notice," he says. "I know this stuff stresses you out."
"The stress is my job," Steve reminds him. "Not yours." He appreciates the consideration, knows, from experience, that Lando can take a "no" well enough when he gets one. But he can hear it Lando's voice, the comedown. Shame Fewtrell isn't available.
"Don't worry," Steve says. "I'll get it sorted."
"Thank you," Lando says, and Steve can hear the relief in his voice.
Getting it sorted is a bit of a nightmare, really, given the hour, but everyone involved knows rich people and a fair few of them know Lando. The invitation - discrete, succinct, auto-deleting - doesn't go out to the short list of approved recipients until Steve confirms the back nine are reserved for a private party the following afternoon. An eye-watering amount of money is transferred, though still well under Steve's discretionary cap for ad hoc things like this.
Steve gets about three hours of sleep, in the end. By the time he wakes up, there are two RSVPs. Lando would be disappointed with two. Steve thinks again about the argument over how small he'd made the list. He'd won out, in the end, but he'd promised Lando they could add to it when he was able to vet the others more thoroughly.
He's debating widening the circle when another RSVP drops. Steve smiles when he sees the name. It'll be a good afternoon for Lando.
this saga of lando falling asleep on the golf course, waking up sunburnt, and then a wild cow stealing his golf ball ?? real life disney princess
can't believe i'm saying this, but come on pecco!
ugh
can't believe i'm saying this, but come on pecco!
This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

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i love that lando is genuinely basking in his wdc he seems really weightless and comfortable and confident and for someone who's got a reputation of getting in his own way it's really lovely to see him be so secure. i think a lot of athletes have a hard time with the feeling of ....so what now? that can set in once the adrenaline dies down and i like that lando has always been very mindful of having a fulfilling life outside of f1, which makes it then easier to be fulfilled by the success he's achieved inside the sport. and i also feel like we've never been closer to his dick pics leaking
when i see pretty boys, all i can think about is how much prettier and cuter they would look looking up at me with pleading eyes

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5 pm thought: he's gay lol
11 pm thought: unfortunately the sad but logical reality is that he is straight and just kind of a weird freak and also a misogynist but it's still beautiful how romantic his obsession with his best friend is and how its psychosexual nature haunts all his creative work
2 am thought: he's gay and he wants to fuck men and i know this for a fact. and also a misogynist