FOREVER YOUNG

“Sometimes I come crashing down inside myself without anyone noticing.”

You said you wouldn’t and you fucking did.

you never understood what i meant when i said that i wanted more. i never felt like i owed you an explanation, but maybe that was selfish. i don’t know. maybe i was waiting for you to get it, to understand that all these years i’d been waiting for someone to sweep me right off my feet, someone who called to check up on me, someone who surprised me. now that i’m on my own, i realise that i might have wanted too much. that i wanted you to need me as much as i needed you. i guess that’s why i held on to you, to us, even when my fingers were leaving bloody imprints behind and my wrists were sore from the strain. it was in the moments of silence that i learned how heavy the absence of words could be. how inevitable and endless. it was always me who broke it. always me who asked to see you, who asked if i could come over, who asked what you’d been up to. all this time, you made me believe i was expecting too much. that i was too picky, too clingy, too fast. but what you never understood was that i never asked you to fix me. i never asked you to be the one to erase my past. i only ever wanted you to be more than you really were, to care more for me than you could at that time. i thought i could make you into the person that would want me, that would stay up all night to see me or the one you would drive a hundred miles for. but i guess we can’t force other people to change who they are so we find it easier to love them. change is something we can only do ourselves. so i changed. so i grew. and i closed this door, because i learned that some doors simply lead to nowhere.

You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning.

How could I let you break my heart twice?

“Now, every time I witness a strong person, I want to know: What darkness did you conquer in your story? Mountains do not rise without earthquakes.”

I feel so alone at

“Think long and hard before offering your heart to someone who can only accept it part-time.”