They're shooting the shit in the Centaurs' locker room after practice and somehow the conversation gets around to hall passes, which then somehow, inexplicably, evolves into the guys talking about their 'exceptions'.
"Exceptions from what?" Shane asks, confused, only just now tuning into the conversation after spending the past ten minutes finishing up his routine (tm).
Dykstra shrugs. "Like you know how everyone has one person they'd theoretically go gay for?" Then, realizing who he's talking to, "Or straight for, I guess."
"I don't know," Shane says. This team really is different from the Metros. "Is this common knowledge?"
"Kind of," Holmberg chimes in. "Like for me, it would be Jason Momoa. I mean, have you seen those arms?"
Shane doesn't know who Jason Momoa is, so he just politely nods.
"I'd go for any of the Chrises, really," Hayes says. "Hemsworth, Pine, Evans..."
Ilya blows a raspberry. "Such basic answers. And this is blatant discrimination, how am I meant to play?"
"I'm picking that bartender at Monks with the snake tattoo," Young says, blatantly ignoring his Captain. "He seems like the sweet but dangerous type, you know?"
"It's not just celebrities?" Shane asks. "Are you actually gonna ask him out, then?"
Young shakes his head. "It's still just theoretical. I've never met a guy I'd actually go gay for but this is like... if I had to pick a guy."
"What about you, Hollander?" Dykstra asks, elbowing Shane. "Who's your exception? Theoretical, obviously, we know you're super gay."
"I'm regular-" Shane presses his lips together, annoyed. "Whatever."
"Don't be boring and say Rose Landry," Ilya warns.
Shane was gonna say Rose but as he pauses to think, he realizes he's got a better answer. "Actually, it would probably be Sveta."
"Svetlana Vetrova," Shane says, like Ilya's issue is not knowing which Sveta he's talking about. "She's pretty, we get along great. And she knows everything about hockey, so we'd never run out of stuff to talk about."
Here is where Ilya should make fun of Shane for picking a beautiful woman he'd theoretically sleep with and only wanting to talk to her. About hockey.
That is what he would do, if his brain wasn't still lagging three paces behind. What the hell does Shane mean he'd go straight for Sveta?
"Nice pick," Dykstra congratulates him on. "She'd go for it, I think."
She would. This is terrible.
"Does that matter?" Shane asks, wanting to know the exact perimeters of this game. "Does that get you extra points?"
Dykstra laughs. "There are no points, it's not that kind of game."
Shane hums and promptly loses interest, realizing this is not something he can win at.
Meanwhile, Ilya is still quietly stewing over it would probably be Sveta. It's stupid and on some level, he knows that. Shane is super gay, no matter how he protests that moniker. Even if he wasn't, Ilya is it for him. There is nothing for Ilya to get jealous over.
Still, he should probably remind Shane who he belongs to. Thoroughly, over the course of a few hours.
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